


UNSOLVED

by magical-illusion13 (coldnightairinmylungs)



Category: Kaylor - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2019-11-17 12:56:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 39,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18098948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldnightairinmylungs/pseuds/magical-illusion13
Summary: Taylor is a new intern at a digital media company. Karlie is a successful content creator.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> new story! hope you enjoy. please leave kudos and comments! thank you. <3

 

Taylor was sitting at her desk, eyeing the little clock in the corner of her computer screen. She was desperately wishing for it to turn 3pm so she could stop opening and closing the same two tabs every minute and go home. She didn’t want to be the first one to leave the office, even though she was sure everyone else knew she had run out of things to do one and a half hours ago.

She bit her lip and glanced towards the desk closest to her. Abigail was typing away on her keyboard, tilting her head every now and then. The red-head looked busy. Taylor sighed. Was she the only intern here with nothing to do? What tasks could the others have possibly been assigned to keep them busy until Friday afternoon?

She looked at her screen again and refreshed her e-mail. Nothing. To no one’s surprise. Before she could worry about her boredom any further, the door opened and a cheerful Emma walked in, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and her phone in the other.

“Hey ladies! If you’re done for the day, you can feel free to pack your things and head home, start the weekend early! Please don’t think you have to sit around here!”

Taylor froze. Had the editor been watching her? Did they have cameras in the offices? She didn’t dare to turn around and look for them. Instead, she smiled in Emma’s general direction and shut down her computer. She was about to pack her bag when the woman approached her desk.

“Hey Taylor, how was your first week? Everything alright?”

Taylor sat up straight in her chair. “Yes, everything’s great, thank you. I’ve finished for today. I’m still getting used to everything, but I’m liking it. Abigail showed me how to use the coffee machine today.”

Emma laughed. The editor had been the one who had picked Taylor for her internship at Blaze. She was small with pale skin and shoulder-long hair. She placed her coffee cup on Taylor’s desk.

“I’m glad to hear everything’s going well, Taylor. And if you find yourself not having so much to do yet, don’t worry. It will all come in time.” She smiled encouragingly.

Taylor gulped and nodded.

“Thank you. I got to be in one video yesterday, it was a lot of fun.”

“Oh yeah, I saw. Playing with cats while answering questions about your love life? Not the worst video to start with here” Emma said and grinned.

Abigail must have listened to their conversation because she perked up. “Emma, how is it that she’s in a video with cats while I have to taste test weird candy? Unfair!”

Taylor laughed. “Cats are kinda my brand, so …”

“I’m not about to have taste tests be my brand, that’s for sure.” Abigail said drily.

Emma looked between the two new interns. “I’m gonna have you two in a video together soon, you seem to be getting along well, from what I can tell.” She winked.

Taylor didn’t know what to say, but Abigail gave a thumbs up and grinned. They had been hitting it off right away on Monday. She was glad to have her desk next to her. While Taylor always felt a bit shy in new situations, Abigail seemed to be more of the out-going type, talking to everyone about everything. Taylor was looking forward to working on a project with her, if Emma kept her word.

“So, ladies” Emma continued and looked at the two of them with raised eyebrows.

“There’s a party at one of the editor’s house tonight. Lots of people from our department will be there, but also from the other departments. We’re always happy to get to know our interns outside of the office. Wanna join?”

Taylor looked at Abigail, wanting her to reply first.

“Oh” the red-head said. “Thanks for the invite, but I’m going to dinner with my boyfriend tonight.”

Taylor groaned internally. She had wanted Abigail to say yes so she could say yes too.

Emma was now looking at Taylor expectantly. “I … ugghh … I mean I don’t have any plans tonight but …”

Taylor looked at her hands in her lap. Emma was probably already regretting her decision to hire her, a socially awkward loser who’d rather watch TV with her cats than go to a party.

“Why don’t you join us then, Taylor? We’d love to have you over!” Emma said, the cheerfulness never having left her tone of voice.

“Oh … yeah, I’d love to. Sure.”

“Great! I’ll text you the address later, then. Don’t be shy, as I said, lots of new people.”

Emma took her coffee cup again and drank from it. “And you have a great night too, Abigail! See you on Monday!”

With that, she turned around and left through another door at the opposite side of the room. Taylor looked after her, then turned around to Abigail. The other woman was packing her bag now as well.

Standing up, Abigail smiled at Taylor. “Don’t worry so much, you’re gonna have fun. Ready to go?”

 

***

 

“Just give me a second!” Taylor exclaimed when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

She looked back into the mirror, trying to give herself a pep talk before she joined the party again. Her blonde hair was shoulder-length and wavy, and she had chosen minimal make-up and her favorite red lipstick. Usually it made her feel confident, but it had yet to work its magic tonight. She sighed.

She grabbed her purse and left the bathroom, mumbling an apology to the person who had been waiting. She had arrived at this party half an hour ago. It wasn’t that she wasn’t enjoying herself, it was just that every person she met was more intimidating than the last one.

The house was big, and she made her way back into the living room. There were snacks on the couch table, and she busied herself eating bread sticks with hummus.

“There you are!” she heard a familiar voice calling after a while. She looked up to see Emma approaching her, and then she was wrapped into a hug.

She was surprised at the gesture, but also thankful. They weren’t at the office, after all, and she could use a friend at this party.

“It’s good to see you! Are you having fun?”

“Yeah, it’s alright” Taylor said and smiled. “I met a bunch of people. I’m just a bit overwhelmed right now, is all” she said honestly.

Emma squeezed her shoulder. “No worries. I’m glad you’re here.” Taylor simply nodded in response.

“Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

“I’ll be right back, then” Emma winked, and Taylor watched her make her way to the kitchen between the people standing around.

The room wasn’t too crowded, and the music was at a moderate volume, which Taylor was thankful for. She recognized faces here and there. People working at Blaze or other social media platforms. People who were featured in popular videos or wrote viral articles. Taylor sighed.

Her train of thought was interrupted when Emma hastily put a bottle of beer in front of her and then excused herself again. “Sorry, just saw someone I’ve been meaning to catch up with for ages! I’ll talk to you later, Taylor!”

Taylor simply nodded, even though the editor was already out of sight. She stuffed her mouth with pretzels and looked around the room. She saw that a spot on the couch had become unoccupied and rushed to sit down.

“Oh, you beat me to it!”

Confused, Taylor looked up to who this voice belonged to. She had to crane her neck to look at the face of the tall woman standing in front of her.

The woman grinned widely. “I was just about to sit down too, but it’s alright.”

Taylor opened and closed her mouth, but no sound came out. She knew who this was. She blinked, but the woman was still standing there, still sporting the wide grin on her face. Taylor realized she must be staring, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away either.

She was rescued when the couple that had been sitting at the edge of the couch got up and left. The tall woman moved closer towards the couch, and Taylor instinctively scooted over to make room. Their eyes never separated as the woman sat down next to her and pulled her long legs up on the couch.

“Um …” Taylor still didn’t know what to say.

“Now we both got a seat” the other woman laughed. She put her beer on the couch table and stretched out her hand.

“I’m Karlie.”

 _I know_ , Taylor almost said.

“Um … I’m Taylor” she managed to get out instead and shook her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Taylor. What brings you here?”

Taylor was still wringing her brain for words. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from the woman’s green eyes. She knew she was being ridiculous, and half-expected Karlie to get up any moment and leave.

_Emma should have warned me. How was I supposed to know Karlie Kloss would be at this party? I thought it was just people from Blaze? Oh wait, she used to work there. Oh God. Oh yeah right, I need to answer the question._

“I’m an intern at Blaze” Taylor said more quietly than intended. She finally tore her eyes away from Karlie and took a sip from her beer.

“Really? You must be new. I haven’t seen you around!” Karlie said.

“No, I only started Monday” Taylor said lamely. “I was in a video about cats that’s gonna be uploaded tomorrow.” She almost kicked herself for sounding so awkward.

Karlie laughed. “Hey, we all start somewhere. I have my own channel, it’s called Klossy. But before that I worked at Blaze too. I still go by the office every once in a while, for projects.”

“Yeah … I know. I watch your channel” Taylor said and blushed. She took another sip from her beer, then reached towards the table for more snacks. She stuffed some into her mouth before she could say more embarrassing things.

“Really?” Karlie exclaimed. “Thank you! I hope you like my videos.”

Taylor nodded with her mouth full. The way Karlie said it didn’t sound conceited, just genuinely excited that someone watched her content. Taylor was relieved that Karlie was just as sweet and down-to-earth as she had imagined. Not that she had fully processed the fact that she was actually talking to her in real life right now, though.

“Yeah, I try your recipes all the time. They’re really good.” She looked at Karlie’s face again and smiled through her nerves. She could feel her heart beating loudly in her chest.

“That means a lot to me, thank you.” Karlie smiled back. “So, what kind of projects do you want to do at Blaze?”

Taylor gulped. She couldn’t believe that Karlie Kloss was actually taking an interest in her work. “I’m still brainstorming ideas. Emma is giving me lots of creative space. I might do more videos, but I also might write some articles.”

Karlie nodded. “So what did you do before Monday?” she grinned.

Taylor laughed. “I actually just moved here from Pennsylvania. I’m kind of a writer.”

“Kind of?” Karlie asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean, yeah, I write poetry and songs, and I also play guitar … but I also like writing articles and other creative outlets, so that’s why I started the internship. I’ve been doing all kinds of things since I graduated from college. I still have a lot to learn, and a lot of ideas.”

Taylor hoped she didn’t sound too desperate. She knew for a fact that Karlie was younger than her, yet nevertheless had already made a name for herself.

Karlie simply smiled at her. She raised her bottle in a toast, and Taylor followed suit.

“Welcome to New York!” Karlie clinked their bottles together and grinned. They drank.

Taylor mumbled a shy ‘thank you’. She wanted to continue the conversation and ask Karlie more about her videos, but a guy she didn’t know called Karlie’s name. A look of disappointment hushed over Karlie’s face. She nevertheless got up and excused herself.

“I’m sure I’ll see you around at the office sometime, Taylor! It was nice to meet you!”

Taylor felt abandoned for the second time that night as she watched Karlie walk away and into the next room. Then, the fact that she had just met Karlie Kloss hit her, and she felt giddy with excitement. Her heart was still beating fast, and she took a few deep breaths. She pulled out her phone to text her friend back home, needing someone to fangirl with.

She couldn’t wipe the grin off her face for the rest of the night. She talked to more people, but it felt easier than before. It was like Karlie’s positivity and excitement were contagious.

Taylor went home that night wanting to write a million songs about the gorgeous blonde and her mesmerizing green eyes.


	2. Two

 

Taylor exited the bookstore and clutched her purse and paper bag a little tighter. It had started raining, and the cold wetness outside was a stark contrast to the comforting, dry warmth of the inside of the store.

She stood near the entrance still, looking up and down the sidewalk. People were hurrying along, their umbrellas colorful spots between the monotone gray of the pavement and the sky. Taylor sighed. She tried to decide what to do next – go for a coffee or head home? She wished she had a friend to call up spontaneously. She pulled her phone out of her coat pocket to look for a coffeeshop nearby but saw that the battery was critically low.

Taylor put her phone back and stepped out into the rain, hurrying towards the entrance of the subway station she had used earlier. Once inside, she needed a few minutes to reorient herself and closely studied the metro map. New and alone in a big city, it often took her a while to figure out how to get to places.

Once safely on the train, the correct one she hoped, she took her new books out of the bag to look at them again. An elderly woman sitting opposite to her curiously craned her neck to catch a glimpse of the titles. Taylor smiled to herself.

The first book was a historical novel, set in the New York of the 1920s. _The other typist_. Taylor had been intrigued the second she had opened the first page. ‘They said the typewriter would unsex us’. She was curious to learn more about the history of the city she now called home, and the fictional women who would tell it to her. The second book was a poem collection titled Delicate. It had been hidden almost, in the very corner of a shelf that had not been drawing any attention to itself. Taylor hoped to get inspiration for her own writing.

She made it to her front door without missing her stop or having gotten onto the wrong train or direction. She grinned to herself. She was getting better at this. She walked up the stairs to her apartment, and her cats greeted her. Taylor smiled. No matter how lonely it got, her cats would always be there.

Sitting on her bed, she sent a quick text to her mum, then opened her laptop. Olivia, her younger, white cat, was sleeping in her lap. Meredith, her older, gray cat, was sitting at the foot of the bed, scowling at her. Taylor knew not to take it personally. Her new books had joined the ‘to be read’ pile on her bedside table, and there was a steaming mug of tea next to it. The rain was still hitting the window, and the wind was whistling between the high buildings. Spring was making the people of the Big Apple wait this year.

The first thing she saw was that Karlie Kloss had uploaded a new video. Her breath hitched in her throat. Not that it was uncommon for the other woman to upload videos to her channel – Taylor was simply not sure if she could handle seeing the blonde on her screen after having met her in person. It was all she had been thinking about for the past one and a half weeks. Karlie’s overwhelming presence, her own nervousness. Karlie’s genuine interest in talking to her, and her own surprise about it. Karlie’s green eyes and wide smile, and her own heart beating out of her chest.

Taylor shook her head. Karlie Kloss. She had promised to see her around the office but hadn’t come around yet. Taylor wondered how often the blonde really still frequented Blaze or if it had just been something she had said nonchalantly. Would she even remember Taylor? She shook her head again. There was no use pondering to these questions. Karlie Kloss was way out of her league, period.

Taylor clicked the video. ‘Hi guys!’ Karlie’s cheerful voice sounded through the studio apartment, and Taylor blushed. She didn’t know why. _Oh God_ , she thought. _I’m in too deep._ The video was about Karlie’s workout routine, and Karlie taught different ways of stretching muscles. Ears burning hot, Taylor admired Karlie’s athletic figure in her workout clothes. _Get it together_ , she scolded herself. She had never had a problem watching Karlie’s videos before, but now that she had met her in person, it felt different.

She managed to watch the video to the end. Karlie’s videos always left her inspired to be more active. They made her want to bake more, work out more, travel more. She ‘liked’ the video but refrained from writing a comment, not knowing how to adequately let Karlie know she had enjoyed it. _So much for being a writer_ , she thought.

She grabbed her mug of tea. Olivia was still sleeping in her lap, and she scratched the kitten behind her ears. She looked around her room, not knowing what to do next. She once again wished she already had friends in this city. Taylor sighed. She took her new book and started reading until it was time to sleep.

 

***

 

Taylor and Abigail were standing in the office’s kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil. Abigail was rummaging through the cabinets, trying to get an overview of the types of tea they had.

“One tea bag left in this package … oh, another one left in that one!” She laughed and turned around to Taylor.

Taylor made a grimace. “Black tea is fine, really.” She put her empty mug on the table. It had the Blaze logo in rainbow colors on it, a gift from Emma at the start of her internship.

“I can buy more tea tomorrow and bring coffee as well.”

Abigail simply hummed in response. They had just come back from shooting a video together. Emma had kept her word and let them participate in a project together.

“God, that was embarrassing!” Taylor said when she remembered it. They had to talk about awkward first dates.

“It’s so much more fun when you watch these videos for your own entertainment than when you have to share your own story” she added drily.

Abigail chuckled. “Hey, at least your date showed up. He could have left you waiting …”

Taylor winced a little at the use of ‘he’. She may or may not have left out a small detail when telling her awkward first date story. She briefly wondered if she should let the other intern know, but was interrupted in her thoughts when the door opened, and a small brunette walked in.

Abigail immediately stopped talking. “Oh hey, Selena.”

The producer nodded towards the two of them and smiled. “Hey, you two. I just saw what you guys filmed earlier, it’s good material.”

Taylor blushed, but Abigail was beaming. “Thank you!”

“Can I have the two of you in another video together soon?”

The two nodded enthusiastically. Selena laughed and filled her cup of coffee and took something out of the fridge.

“That’s great, I’ll send you an e-mail. Depending on how far we get with the concept and writing we might start filming Friday already, is that okay?”

Abigail and Taylor nodded again.

“Okay, see ya around!” She left just as quickly as she had entered.

Abigail gave Taylor a high-five. “See, they want to work with us! We’re gonna get there, Taylor.”

Taylor smiled at her new friend. “Yeah!”

Back at the office, they immediately went to their desks, not wanting to disturb the others. There were six desks in total in the room, and all but one were occupied. So far, Taylor had memorized everyone’s names and faces, but she hadn’t worked with everyone yet. She knew the others were either interns or junior writers.

Abigail resumed typing away on her keyboard, and Taylor was left to wonder once more what she was working on. If she had another project, she hadn’t told her about it.

Taylor opened the file she had been working on as well. She had just been brainstorming ideas, but it all looked like it was coming together. Now after a little break from it, she saw the bigger picture. She suddenly knew what she wanted to do. She just hoped it hadn’t been done yet. Her palms became sweaty and she wiped them on her jeans. Browsing through Blaze’s channel, she couldn’t find a similar series to what she had in mind. She typed more and more ideas into her document, and excitement spread through her body.

She looked at the clock at the bottom of her screen and realized it was already past 4 pm. She got up in a rush, startling the others in the room. With several pairs of eyes on her, she mumbled a ‘sorry’ and blushed. Her tea, forgotten about since they had come back into the office, was cold, but she drank it anyways. She printed her document and almost ran into the hallway.

Standing in front of Emma’s office, she took a deep breath, then knocked.

“Come in!” Emma’s muffled voice could be heard, and Taylor slowly opened the door. Emma looked like she was about to leave, so Taylor felt lost for a second.

“Hey Taylor, what’s up? I was about to go home for today but I have five more minutes” Emma said and smiled, then sat back down in her chair. She motioned for Taylor to come closer.

“Um …” Taylor’s previous excitement had turned into nervousness again. _Get it together_ , she scolded herself.

The editor looked at her expectantly.

“I have an idea for a project” Taylor managed to get out and held her print-out towards Emma like a school-child.

Emma smiled softly. She was patient, and found Taylor’s nervousness endearing. “What is it about?” she asked without taking the paper.

Taylor took the paper to herself again. “So, I’ve been reading a book, um, that I just bought two days ago, but I already finished it last night, and it kind of inspired me to an idea. I’ve always loved true crime shows, so I thought I could make one video or more where I research old cases that haven’t been solved yet, and present evidence and theories and stuff.” She exhaled loudly.

Emma tilted her head a little. “I think that’s a fantastic idea. I don’t think it’s been done on our channel before.”

Taylor’s eyes went wide. “Really? You like it?”

“Yes, why not?” Emma laughed. She got up from her chair and took her bag and moved towards Taylor and the door.

“Why don’t you start your research and send me an e-mail or come into my office again when you have a concept for a video? Sometime next week?”

“Of course!” Taylor said and nodded.

Emma motioned for Taylor to follow her out of the office and closed the door behind them.

“Great! Can’t wait to see what you’re coming up with, Taylor. See you!”

Taylor thanked her and Emma left. She turned around towards her own office again.

She really was about to start her own project.


	3. Three

 

“Alright everyone, we’re taking a small break and then we’ll hopefully be done by lunchtime!” Selena announced and clapped her hands.

Immediately, everyone in the room started moving. Some were walking towards the door to use the bathroom or get coffee, others started chatting. Taylor and Abigail remained sitting on the couch. They still had their coffees and nothing else to do, anyways.

“Are you alright? You look like you’re sick” Abigail asked concerned but there was also a hint of amusement in her voice. They were in the basement room that served as a film studio for food-related videos as it had a small kitchen attached. They had been working on a video in which they tested various cake recipes.

“I may have eaten too much dough.” Taylor made a grimace and rubbed her belly.

“I just wanna get this over with and eat some actual food for lunch.”

Abigail took a sip of her coffee and grinned. “Yeah, me too. Wanna go eat lunch together again or did you bring something?”

The two of them had started eating lunch together every other day. The week before Taylor had worked up the nerve to ask Abigail to hang out in the afternoon too, and they had gone for coffee and watched a movie. She was relieved to have made a friend in the city.

“No, I didn’t bring anything, I must admit I didn’t go grocery shopping this week so my fridge is super empty. Let’s just get sandwiches.” Taylor laughed.

She rubbed her eyes. “God, these contact lenses they gave me are awful. I’m gonna put them out for the break, my eyes are so sore.” Abigail simply nodded in response and watched her friend reach for her purse to take out her glasses, then take out her contacts and put them in the container.

“So much better” Taylor sighed.

She had been running late in the morning, having stayed up reading all night. When she had been presented with the choice of putting in her contacts or stopping by the bakery before going into the office barely on time, she had chosen warm croissants. Then she had remembered they were filming a video today and she was not going to be in it wearing her glasses.  So now here she was.

If she had thought that this was all her day would bring, then she had been wrong. A minute later the door opened and an all too familiar, cheerful voice could be heard. Everyone’s heads turned towards it.

Standing tall in the doorframe was Karlie Kloss.

Taylor’s eyes went wide, and she readjusted her glasses as if to convince herself of what she was seeing. Next to her she saw Abigail with her mouth wide open as well. Karlie greeted Selena and two other people who had gotten up to meet her.

“Oh my God … that’s Karlie Kloss” Abigail whispered.

“Yeah.” It was in this moment that Taylor realized she had never mentioned the fact that she had met Karlie at the party to Abigail. _Oh boy_ , she thought. _How do I bring it up casually at this point?_

“I watch her videos all the time. She’s so cool” Abigail gushed, talking to Taylor quietly.

“Yeah … me too” was all the blonde could say. She gulped.

They watched the others talking to Karlie for a while, not daring to get up and move around the room anymore. Eventually, the group dispersed, and Karlie looked around the room. Taylor realized a millisecond too late.

Their eyes met. Taylor’s eyes went wide in shock, but Karlie’s lit up in recognition. She waved and made her way over.

 _Oh my God, no,_ was all Taylor could think. Her heart started beating so fast she thought she was going to pass out.

“Taylor, hey!” Karlie greeted her and smiled.

Taylor could feel everyone’s curious stare on her. Especially Abigail’s. She cleared her throat.

“Hey, Karlie.” Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper. She readjusted her glasses again, then ran her fingers through her hair.

Karlie sat down on the couch next to her. “Hey, this time you left a spot for me to sit.” She winked.

 _Yeah, I’m gonna pass out,_ Taylor thought. She didn’t know what to reply, so she just laughed awkwardly. She was sure Karlie was going to get up and leave again any second. She could feel Abigail’s eyes boring into the back of her head now that she had turned around towards Karlie.

“How’s the internship going? I’ve seen you in a couple of videos. Are you having fun?” Karlie started chatting like they were old friends.

Taylor opened and closed her mouth as if to practice before she could get any words out. “Yeah, I’m having fun. Today’s been a little messy so far, but it’s really great!” She tried to grin and hoped it didn’t come out as a grimace.

Out of all the days that she could have showed up at her workplace, Karlie had chosen today. How many times had Taylor told herself in the morning ‘this will be the day Karlie comes to visit’ and put on extra nice make-up or worn an extra cute outfit, and it never happened. But today, today that she was sick from eating cake dough and her eyes were red and puffy and she was wearing her rainbow-framed glasses. Today, out of all the days, Karlie showed up.

“I heard you guys were doing a baking video so I had to come check it out” Karlie laughed. “But I promise, I won’t judge. You guys ate a lot of cake dough, huh?”

Taylor blushed and nodded. Karlie laughed again. Taylor wasn’t sure what she had done to deserve being at the receiving end of this beautiful laugh and smile, but she wasn’t going to complain. If she had to eat raw dough to hear Karlie’s laugh, so be it.

“Have you been working on a project of your own already?” Karlie asked, continuing the conversation. Taylor wished she could say something nonchalant like ‘hey I loved your latest video’ or ‘happy to meet you again, what have you been up to?’, but her brain was focused too much on the fact that Karlie was sitting next to her in the first place than to form a coherent sentence.

“Oh, yeah … actually. I’ve been working on a true crime show. Um …”

“Really? That’s exciting!”

Taylor looked up at Karlie’s face, a decision she regretted instantly. Those deep, green eyes took her breath away. How was someone allowed to be this gorgeous?

A smile formed on her face regardless. She took a deep breath. “Yeah, Emma approved of it two days ago, so I’m just doing research and coming up with concepts for a video. It’s really cool” she gushed.

She thanked her brain for allowing her to say two complete sentences in a row. Karlie smiled warmly at her. “I hope it all works out the way you want it to!”

They talked for a while more, though Taylor had no idea how she handled it without passing out. She even managed to compliment Karlie on a recipe she had tried from one of her recent videos. When she received Karlie’s warm, genuine smile in response, she knew she would never get enough of it.

“Karlie, there you are!” someone called and approached them. Taylor’s eyes went wide again. It was Todrick, the editor in chief. She had only met him once briefly for her job interview.

“Hey girls” he addressed Taylor and Abigail with a smile, then turned towards Karlie again.

“We need to be in a meeting in five. Sorry Karlie.”

Karlie got up from the couch again. Taylor felt reminded of their situation at the party. She felt that this time, Karlie was reluctant to leave as well, but had no other choice. The tall woman smiled at her.

“I’ll see you around, Taylor. It was good to see you again!”

“Good to see you too” Taylor mumbled, feeling even shier in the presence of both Todrick and Karlie.

Before they turned to go, Selena approached them again. She talked to Karlie and Todrick for a little, but Todrick insisted on making it to the meeting in time.

Selena nodded in understanding. “Of course. Have a good meeting!”

Todrick and Karlie said their goodbyes to everyone in the room and left. Once they were gone, Abigail and Selena turned towards Taylor with big question marks in their eyes. They spoke almost simultaneously.

“Taylor, how do you know Karlie Kloss!?”


	4. Four

 

_Hey Taylor,_

_Can you come into my office within the next half an hour? I have something I want to talk to you about._

_Best, Emma_

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

Taylor squinted at the e-mail that had just popped up on her screen. She felt anxiety rising in her chest. What could Emma possibly want to talk to her about so urgently? Just the day before they had talked about her project. Emma had suggested Taylor introduce more popular cases before she should research the historical cases that actually had her interest, but other than that she had been supportive.

She looked around the office. Except for Abigail there was only one other person there, a guy who wrote articles for the sports section of the website. Abigail was focused on her work as always, and Taylor knew that the coffee they had gotten earlier and that was still sitting on the red-heads desk had gone cold and forgotten about. She still didn’t know what project her new friend was working on, and at this point she was too afraid to ask.

She suppressed a long sigh so as not to disturb the others. She had no idea how to respond to the e-mail. Her eyes scanned the word document she had been writing on. Research for her next video, on the case of Jack the Ripper.

Taylor nervously tapped her fingers on her desk. Should she just go to Emma’s office without replying first? Or pretend she had been too busy to read the e-mail?

She was supposed to start filming her first video after lunch today. They had prepared her film set all day the day before. It was simple, but Taylor loved it. A desk in front of a bookshelf, and on it her files, a lamp, and a small globe that she had brought from her childhood room.

She saved the document and got up. It was of no use. If Emma was going to cancel her project last minute or postpone the filming, she would have to deal with it. She found herself in front of Emma’s door not even a minute later.

Emma greeted her cheerfully and invited her to sit down on the comfy sofas in the corner of the room.

“Do you want a glass of water?”

“Yes, please.”

 _What’s coming?_ Taylor thought and gulped. She looked around the small office, she had never seen the room from this side. A huge poster of the Grand Canyon was hanging on one of the walls, and Taylor noticed framed family pictures on the editor’s desk.

Emma put two glasses of water on the couch table, then looked Taylor up and down. She grinned. Taylor thought she was going to lose it if the other woman didn’t start to speak within the next 0.5 seconds.

“I have big news for you, Taylor.”

“I’m … my project isn’t cancelled?”

Emma laughed at the disbelief in Taylor’s voice. “No, Taylor. You’re starting filming today, remember? I’m sorry if my e-mail made you anxious. I had quite a hectic morning. But it’s all good news, I promise.”

Taylor grabbed the edge of the sofa. “Can you please just tell me what it is? I’m dying right now.”

“I will tell you in a minute.” Taylor suspected that Emma was enjoying this situation far too much to spill the beans yet.

Taylor took a sip of water and waited for the editor to continue.

“You’ve been getting lots of positive feedback on the videos you’ve been featured in, Taylor. I don’t know if you read the comments sections on your videos-“

“Oh God, no” Taylor interrupted her. She blushed.

Emma chuckled. “Well, you should. Our viewers seem to love you. They think you’re cute, and smart and funny. And I agree with them. So does Selena. She said she enjoyed working with both you and Abigail.”

Taylor couldn’t believe her ears. People thought she was funny and cute? People on the internet? She felt her heartbeat quicken.

“And as the supervisor of your internship, I’m very happy to hear that. But also just as a colleague and someone who’s cheering you on, Taylor.” Emma smiled.

“Thank you” Taylor mumbled shyly.

“But that’s not even the big news yet.” Emma grinned. “The reason my morning was pretty hectic was because I received a very surprising e-mail. And then I had to do a spontaneous meeting with Selena, and then Todrick, because I needed to get their feedback. Let me tell you Taylor, we were all swept off our feet a little.”

When she saw Taylor’s eyes becoming wider and wider, she laughed. “All in a good way, Taylor.”

“Please just tell me what’s going on” she pleaded, sounding a little out of breath.

“Well …” Emma looked Taylor in the eyes.

“Karlie Kloss wants to work with you.”

 

***

 

 _Karlie Kloss wants to work with me. Karlie Kloss wants to work with me._ The sentence kept repeating itself over and over in Taylor’s head. It still hadn’t quite sunk in yet.

She was nervously fiddling with the print-outs in her hands, dog-earing the pages and then straightening them again. Focus, she told herself. She was sitting at the desk on her new film set, just waiting for the camera to start rolling.

She watched Selena walking across the room, giving instructions. One of the camera guys caught her eye and smiled at her encouragingly. She smiled back and gave him a thumbs up. He grinned. She was happy to work with Selena and her team, she got along well with them and she knew them from the previous videos she had been featured in.

Selena came over to Taylor. “Are you okay? We’ll start filming in a minute.”

Taylor nodded. “Yeah, just waiting for you guys.” She laughed, and Selena did too.

The latina suddenly leaned closer, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “So I heard Karlie Kloss wants you in one of her videos? Emma was freaking out this morning” she said with her voice low.

Taylor blushed. “Yeah … I still don’t know how that happened.”

Selena winked at her. “You did shock all of us the other week when she came over to talk to you. But trust me, she’s a really great girl, very down-to-earth. You guys seem to get along well. And I know it’s easier said than done, but there’s no reason to be intimidated by her. She’s super sweet.”

Taylor smiled at the producer’s words of encouragement. “Thank you. I’ll try. I mean we’ve only met twice, but I’ve been watching her channel since like day one, and she really was super nice.”

Selena simply smiled back in response, then turned around towards the camera crew again. _Great,_ Taylor thought. _Now I can’t focus on my stuff anymore._

“Ready everyone?”

Everyone in the room mumbled a ‘ready’, and the next thing Taylor knew was that the camera was rolling, and she was presenting her research on the first case.

“Hello everyone, my name is Taylor. Welcome to my new series in which I will present to you unsolved true crime cases from all over the world, from historical to modern.”

She still felt nervous, but she was completely focused. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Selena give her a thumbs up from behind the camera.

“My first case will be the case of the Black Dahlia. This name was posthumously given to a woman named Elizabeth Short, who was brutally murdered in Los Angeles in 1947. The circumstances and the brutality of her death are what made the case infamous in the press at the time. Let me present you with the details known about this case …”

Before Taylor knew it, they were wrapping up the video. She had presented the known facts about the case and then some theories about who the murderer could have been.

“But for now, the case will remain … unsolved.”

Selena gave Taylor another big thumbs up as soon as she was finished, and Taylor started grinning from ear to ear. “Good job!” the camera guys complimented her. Selena came over and high-fived her.

“That was great! You’re a natural! We needed much less takes than I thought. Can’t wait to see a first edit!”

Taylor was beaming. She couldn’t wait, either. The editors would add more visual content, but it was also something she had been given creative control over to some extent.

“We can meet again the day after tomorrow and discuss the edit and if we need to film something again. Are you free?” Selena asked.

Taylor nodded. “Yeah, I’ll just be doing more research for my next videos. The next one will be Jack the Ripper, probably. I’ll only have another video shoot for something else on Friday” she explained.

“When’s your date with Karlie?” Selena asked and winked.

Taylor blushed furiously. She had momentarily forgotten about it. “I’ll probably meet her next week, I’m still waiting for her reply.” She tried to say it nonchalantly, but the high pitch in her voice gave her nerves away.

Selena patted her shoulder in reassurance. “You’ll have fun. Don’t worry so much. I was just teasing you.”

They finished packing up their things, then Taylor decided to call it a day. She was exhausted from the events of the day. She couldn’t wait to get home, call her mum and then read a book and cuddle with the cats. And most importantly, mentally prepare herself to see Karlie again.


	5. Five

 

Taylor took a deep breath, then rang the doorbell. She jumped a little in surprise when a dog started barking. She could hear muffled footsteps approaching the door. The door was opened, and then Karlie was standing in front of her with her genuine, wide signature smile.

“Hey Taylor, come in!”

Taylor mumbled a shy ‘hi’ back but was caught off guard when the tall woman gave her a light hug. Before she could remember to hug her back, they had separated again. The sweet scent of Karlie’s shampoo lingered in Taylor’s nose. She felt overwhelmed.

She snapped out of it when she felt a small dog jumping up and down next to her legs, trying to get her attention. The dog barked loudly and wagged his tail. She took a step back.

Karlie laughed. “Joe, leave Taylor alone. Go!” The dog distanced himself from Taylor, but nevertheless continued to look at her with big, expectant eyes.

“That’s my dog, Joe. He’s usually with my parents in St Louis but I have him right now” Karlie explained. She grinned. “Not a dog person?”

Taylor blushed. She cleared her throat before she spoke, not trusting her voice in front of Karlie yet. “No, to be honest. I have two cats.”

“Really? You have to tell me all about them later!” Karlie exclaimed. Taylor simply smiled in response. Karlie’s genuine interest in her still overwhelmed her.

She took off her jacket and they went into the next room. It was a spacious living room, and the April sun was shining through the large windows. A brunette woman was sitting on the sofa and stood up to greet them. Taylor was confused for a second before she introduced herself.

“Hey, you must be Taylor. I’m Lily, Karlie’s manager. It’s nice to meet you.”

 _Oh,_ Taylor thought. _Her manager?_ She smiled nervously and returned the greeting. Karlie seemed to sense her nervousness and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry, we’ll just talk about some formal stuff, because you’ll be in my video. I’ll give you a proper apartment tour later.” She smiled.

Taylor nodded, and they sat down. Lily poured them each a glass of water.

“Sorry Taylor, I know this is all new for you, and I don’t mean to overwhelm you.” Lily’s voice was friendly and reassuring.

“But you need to know that we take collaborations seriously. This is Karlie’s job, and you’re working with her today. You’re an intern at Blaze, so we needed to get their permission to work with you too, in your case from Ms. Stone because she’s your supervisor. I understand you do not have a manager or an agent of your own yet?”

Taylor gulped. “No. I only started like a month ago.”

Lily nodded. “I’ll need you to sign a form, because of course you will also get a share of the ad revenue generated by the video you two are filming today.”

 _Wow,_ Taylor thought. She had gotten an insight of how all of this worked in the past month, but she was nevertheless amazed by the professionality behind Karlie’s and Lily’s work. _It’s her job, of course they are being professional,_ she thought. _Karlie has like what? Three or four million subscribers?_ Her heart started beating faster at the thought. She didn’t want to think about the numbers.

Lily and Karlie worked her through the form and made sure she understood every word of it. Karlie was sitting next to Taylor, touching her shoulder every now and then in reassurance. It both distracted and comforted Taylor.

“I’ll send a copy of this to Ms. Stone” Lily concluded and got up. “But I have to leave now, I’m meeting a friend for lunch later.”

Karlie and Taylor said their goodbyes to Lily. When the woman turned towards the door, she gave Karlie a pointed look that Taylor couldn’t interpret.

“Have fun, you two. Don’t make a mess in the kitchen!”

When she was gone, Karlie grabbed Taylor’s arm. “Sorry, but we had to go through this first. I hope I didn’t scare you away.” She looked at Taylor expectantly.

“No, it’s alright” Taylor said, and Karlie seemed to relax again.

Joe the dog came running towards them again, and this time Taylor leaned down to pet him. “He’s cute.”

Karlie beamed. “I know, right? He’s the best dog in the world!”

Taylor laughed.

“Okay, now I’m gonna give you a proper tour!” Karlie announced.

The apartment had two floors. The first floor that they were on consisted of the living room, the kitchen, a guest bedroom and bathroom and Karlie’s film studio. Taylor was surprised to see that Karlie had an extra kitchen for filming videos.

“I always thought it was your actual kitchen!”

Karlie laughed. “Well it is an actual kitchen. I just don’t use it privately. I couldn’t be bothered to clean my kitchen every time I want to shoot a video. I always want it to look neat on camera.”

Taylor looked  around, stunned to actually be in the room she had seen on Karlie’s channel so many times before.

The upper floor had the master bedroom, a large bathroom, a smaller living area and a balcony. They were standing outside, looking at the bustling city around them.

“This is awesome” Taylor gushed. She held her face towards the sun, enjoying the warm rays for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, she caught a glimpse of Karlie quickly looking the other way.

“Yeah, I like to sit here and read or drink coffee in the summer. It’s almost warm enough to do that again” the tall blonde said quietly.

They went inside again and into the film studio kitchen.

“So I thought we could make some pancakes? I found this really easy three-ingredient recipe that I want to share on my channel, and then we could just eat a late breakfast. You have time, right?” Karlie asked while setting up the camera.

Taylor looked at the clock on the wall, it was a quarter to twelve. She had already been here for more than half an hour. She realized she felt hungry again and nodded.

“Sounds perfect! I have all the time in the world.” She smiled at Karlie, who seemed relieved and smiled back. “No one’s expecting me in the office today.” She grinned. She felt more comfortable around Karlie each minute. “They’re gonna ask so many questions tomorrow, though.”

To her surprise, Karlie blushed. She kept fiddling with her camera for a moment longer, then spoke. “Yeah … sorry my invitation kinda came out of nowhere. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable at your film set the other day.”

Taylor put up a hand. “No, no, don’t worry. I mean, you’re right I was a little overwhelmed, but it’s all good.” She smiled at Karlie, who looked down when their eyes met.

“Yeah … thank you for coming over today.”

Taylor instinctively took a step closer towards Karlie. She didn’t know when exactly she had stopped being entirely intimidated by Karlie or when the other woman had become so shy, but it struck her as strange.

“Thank you for inviting me. It means a lot to me.” Karlie looked at Taylor again, and their eyes met. They smiled. Taylor was once again mesmerized by Karlie’s deep, green eyes. She cleared her throat again.

“So, you film all your videos by yourself?”

Karlie raised her eyebrows. “Oh yeah, actually. At least when it’s just me in the kitchen. I know how to work with all the camera equipment that I own. I have a camera guy for when I’m filming outside though, or when I do other projects.”

Taylor nodded in response. “That’s so cool. I’m still learning. I started making my own content, but I can’t work with a camera yet. It’s so cool that you can do all of it” she gushed.

“Thanks. Yeah, most people are surprised when they learn I actually know stuff about technology too and I’m not just a pretty face.” She heaved a sigh.

“That’s not what I mea-“

“I know. Sorry. It wasn’t directed at you.” Karlie looked at Taylor apologetically. Taylor didn’t know what else to say and instead waited for Karlie to elaborate. Karlie, however, changed the topic again.

“Okay, so here’s how we’re gonna go about it: I will prepare the baking equipment and pre-measure all the ingredients and put them on the table. Then I’ll make an introduction to what we’re baking today, and then introduce you. We’ll make the pancakes together and I’ll narrate it. Sometimes I mess up and have to start over” she laughed, “but we have enough ingredients at hand. And then the best part: we get to eat them!”

Taylor laughed too. “Perfect! Let’s do it!” Karlie smiled at her and focused on setting up the camera again. Taylor felt her nerves come back, now that they were actually about to film.

“I’m gonna use the washroom for a second, I need to check my hair.”

Karlie simply nodded in response. When Taylor came back, they rehearsed their lines a few times with the camera off, then Karlie switched it on. Standing by the side out of frame, Taylor admired how natural Karlie was in front of the camera. She didn’t see a difference between the way Karlie talked to the camera and people in front of her.

“Hi guys! Welcome back to my kitchen! It’s been a while. You guys have been asking me for recipes lately and I’ve been doing some research and found an amazing three-ingredient recipe for healthy pancakes.”

Karlie talked more about her love for eating healthy, then introduced Taylor.

“Today I have Taylor with me, whom you may have seen in recent videos from Blaze. I’m very thrilled to collaborate with her.”

She grinned widely at Taylor as she made her way into the frame. Taylor waved shyly at the camera.

They started mixing the ingredients together. The basic recipe was only oats, bananas and almond milk, but Karlie made a point to pour as much vanilla into it as acceptable. They kept giggling all along. Every time Karlie laughed at one of Taylor’s dry remarks, Taylor felt her heart flutter. She had completely forgotten about the camera, or the big audience that would be watching the final edit. All she could focus on was having a good time with Karlie.

After Karlie had presented their final result to the camera and concluded the video, she went around the kitchen island to turn the camera off. She gave Taylor a thumbs up.

“Thank you, Taylor, that was awesome! I think we’ve got it!” She laughed and looked at the countertop. “And we didn’t make too much of a mess. Lily will be so proud.”

Taylor giggled. “And now onto the best part!”

Karlie laughed again. “You’re right!”

They got two plates from the cabinets and divided the stack of pancakes into two portions.

“Let’s eat on the couch!” Karlie suggested.

She prepared two cups of coffee, and they went back into the living room. Joe the dog had been lying on his bed near the window, but excitedly joined them on the couch, hoping for a piece of pancake. He curiously wandered around Taylor every now and then.

They ate and talked, and Taylor felt a wave of happiness wash over her. Being with Karlie made her feel excited and she hung on every word the blonde spoke, eager to get to know her better.

Karlie was still somewhat of an overwhelming presence, but there was also a new feeling running through Taylor. She couldn’t quite place it yet. Maybe it was the feeling of having made a new friend in a city that did not feel like home just yet. Or maybe it was the feeling that New York was indeed starting to feel like home a little more each day.


	6. Six

 

“Okay, Taylor. Tell me everything.” Abigail looked at her friend from across the table with a grin on her face.

Taylor took a deep breath. “She’s … it was so cool.” She blushed and hid her face behind the menu.

“Filming with her was such an experience, she’s so much fun to work with and so easy-going. Did you know she can handle all the camera equipment herself? She edits a lot of her videos by herself, too. Her apartment is so cool as well. She-“

Taylor rambled on but was interrupted by the waiter who took their orders. They were at their favorite sandwich shop a few blocks away from the office. Abigail grinned at Taylor.

“I’m so happy for you, Taylor. So you two were alone most of the time?”

Taylor blushed again. “Yeah, except for when her manager was there. But after we filmed, we talked for like two more hours. So that’s why I didn’t reply to your or anyone’s texts” she laughed and tilted her head a little.

“I forgive you” Abigail said and laughed too.

“So …” she leaned forward. Taylor had no idea what was coming next.

“Did she say why she wanted to work with you?”

Taylor bit the inside of her cheek. “No. I mean, she just wanted to get to know me, I think? It’s not like I have tons of popular videos and she wanted mutual promo or anything.” She sighed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m super happy for you, Taylor. Especially because she’s all you’ve been talking about.” Abigail winked. “But it just came out of the blue, is all.”

“Yeah, I know.” Taylor fiddled with the napkin on the table. She shrugged. “I think she just wanted to get to know me” she reiterated.

Karlie and she had talked about everything, from their pets to their families to their plans for the year. The conversation had been flowing easily, like they were old friends. Karlie seemed genuinely interested in her. She thought back on the hours they had spent together the day before and couldn’t keep another blush from creeping up her neck.

“Aww” Abigail cooed. “You’re always blushing whenever Karlie is brought up.” She shook her head. “In fact, you always bring her up. You’re having a little crush on her huh?”

Taylor had no idea how to respond to the teasing question. The waiter had taken the menus with him, so she had nowhere to hide. She was sure she was glowing red as a traffic light by now.

She was rescued when the waiter came back with their smoothies and sandwiches. She hungrily took a bite before she spoke and looked at Abigail again.

“I mean … yeah, maybe.” She was a terrible liar anyways. Her new friend knew she liked girls by now, anyways. There was no use in hiding.

“Aww” Abigail hummed again. She took a bite of her sandwich as well.

Taylor had always had a slight crush on Karlie, but it had been one of those unattainable crushes, perfect for day-dreaming. Recently, however, it all had gotten a little too real. Her day-dreams were now accompanied by the very real memory of Karlie’s sweet scent, or the touch of her hand on Taylor’s shoulder, or the warm feeling of her hug. Taylor couldn’t simply shake it off anymore.

“Do you know if she’s into girls?”

Taylor almost choked on her sandwich.

“What?”

Abigail laughed. “I don’t know. Does she ever talk about her dating life in public? Did she talk about it to you?”

Taylor thought about it for a second. “No, no we didn’t talk about it, and she doesn’t really talk about it in her videos either. But I just … oh my God please don’t make me think about the possibility of this.”

“Why not?” Abigail chuckled. “Come on, Taylor. If she didn’t mention a boyfriend within the several hours that you two talked, she probably doesn’t have one. Take it from me, straight girls love shoving pictures of their boyfriends into everyone’s faces.”

Taylor couldn’t help but giggle, remembering the first week of their internship when they had been getting to know each other and Abigail had done just that.

She shrugged. “It’s not like I can just ask.”

“No, but you can crush on her without feeling awkward about it is what I’m trying to say.” Abigail smiled good-naturedly. Taylor simply smiled back in response, then took a sip from her smoothie.

They finished their lunches. Before they prepared to go back to the office, Abigail spoke up again.

“Oh, I should probably tell you now, but I’m going to Florida for a project next week. It was only brought up yesterday so it’s a bit short notice, but I’m super excited.”

Taylor looked at her friend with wide eyes. “A project? I mean, wow, that’s exciting! But what kind of project?”

Abigail giggled. “The one I’ve been working on since our first week, Taylor.” She pushed a strand of curls out of her face. Taylor nodded like she totally knew what her friend had been doing the entire time. She realized that at one point she had probably told her, and she had not been listening. She felt guilty.

“Why do you need to go to Florida for it?”

“Because there’s this marine life station and we want to get interviews from people who work there. About the work they do for ocean protection and saving the lives of marine animals.”

 _Oh yeah, right,_ Taylor thought. She remembered Abigail telling her that she had been a swimmer in college and her love for water, and especially the ocean. So that’s what she had been doing.

“It’s a huge project, it will become like a series on Blaze, it’s so cool to get to work with them.” Abigail added.

“That’s really cool!” Taylor said, genuinely excited for her friend, more so now that she knew what was going on.

“I’ll try not to die without you at the office.”

Abigail laughed. “You’ll be fine. You’ve become pretty busy yourself, lately, huh?”

“True. I won’t even notice you’re gone.”

“Hey-“

“Maybe they’ll even replace you with another intern.”

The two of them made their way back to the office, bickering and teasing each other.

Taylor came back to the news that the first episode of her true crime show would be uploaded that afternoon. Everyone in the office congratulated her, and Abigail hugged her. They spontaneously planned to hang out at Taylor’s place to watch the video together the second it was uploaded. There was excitement all around.

 

***

 

_See Messages: Wednesday, April 3 rd _

**[unknown number]**

Hey Taylor, it’s Karlie. Congrats on the video, just watched! You did an amazing job. I hope it’s okay that I’m texting you haha.

_6:23 pm_

“Oh my God!” Taylor stared at her phone in disbelief. Abigail gave her a confused look. They were sitting on Taylor’s couch, eating snacks. They had watched Taylor’s video as soon as it had uploaded and were now refreshing it to read comments every minute.

Taylor showed Abigail her phone with shaking hands. The red-heads eyes went wide.

“Oh! Wow!” She narrowed her eyes.

“You gave her your number? I thought you just e-mailed through Emma?”

“That’s the thing! I don’t think I did? I’m not sure.” Taylor took a deep breath. “Oh my God. Oh my God. What do I do?”

“Reply.”

“Now?”

“Yes Taylor! This isn’t middle school! Don’t make her wait. She’s probably anxious too. She said ‘I hope it’s okay I’m texting you haha’” Abigail made air-quotes and a terrible attempt at impersonating Karlie. “Tell her thank you.”

**Taylor**

Thank you!

_6:25 pm_

And no worries, thank you for texting me!

_6:26 pm_

Abigail threw her head back. “That’s lame, Taylor.” She chuckled. “But you’re cute when you get all flustered over Karlie, so I won’t say anything.”

“For not saying anything you’re sure talking a lot” Taylor remarked drily and earned herself an elbow into her side.

“Ow!”

Before she could say more, the typing bubble appeared. She held her breath.

**Karlie**

Yay! I was wondering if you want to grab a coffee with me sometime?

_6:28 pm_

“Ohhh my God” Taylor breathed out, holding up the phone right in front of Abigail’s face.

“Damn Kloss, getting straight to the point.” Abigail raised her eyebrows.

“Shut up! She’s just being nice. Don’t feed into my crush.”

Abigail hummed, but her eyebrows were still raised. Taylor rolled her eyes.

They figured out what to text back, and before she knew it Taylor was set up to get coffee with Karlie that Saturday. She was already panicking about what to wear and what could possibly go wrong, and Abigail did her best to calm her nerves. Taylor couldn’t wait to call her mum and panic towards her later as well, the same way she had done before and after her video shoot with Karlie.

When Abigail left a little later, she tried to reassure her friend again. “It’ll all be fine, Taylor. We have the rest of the week to come up with a game plan.” They hugged good-bye.

“See you tomorrow!”

“There’s no way she like-likes me, though.”

Abigail groaned, but decided to let it go for now. “Whatever you say, Taylor.”


	7. Seven

 

Between the laughter and chatter of the people around them, the sudden sound of taiko drums caught Taylor and Karlie’s attention. They perked up and grinned at each other.

“Let’s check out the performance” Karlie said and pulled Taylor by her arm into the direction of the stage. Karlie knew how to use her height to her advantage in crowds of people and led the way.

Instead of going for coffee, they had decided on a cherry blossom festival in Brooklyn at the last minute. Karlie had insisted that the weather was too nice to not spend it outside, and all Taylor wanted was to spend time with Karlie, anyways.

They found an empty bench and sat down to watch the performance. Taylor bopped her head along to the beat and tapped her feet on the ground, enjoying the music. Her eyes were glued to the movements of the men and women beating the drums. She was so focused, she didn’t feel Karlie’s intense stare that was on her all along.

“Wanna grab something to drink?” Karlie suggested when the performance was over, and Taylor nodded.

They bought matcha lattes and sat down on a bench underneath a cherry tree. Taylor couldn’t shake off the feeling of being on a date with Karlie. Neither of them had called it that, and she was sure that Karlie wasn’t even interested in girls and much less in her, but when she saw all the couples around them, she couldn’t help but feel strange. _Get over yourself_ , she scolded herself. _She’s just being nice._

She was pulled out of her thoughts when suddenly a teenage girl appeared in front of them, looking at Karlie with her eyes so wide and full of disbelief Taylor almost laughed.

“Excuse me, you’re Karlie, right?” the girl asked, her voice high-pitched.

Karlie smiled at the girl. “Yep, that’s me.” She got up and placed her beverage on the bench. Taylor watched the interaction that followed.

“Oh my God, I’m such a huge fan, I watch your channel all the time” the girl started rambling and blushed. “Can we take a picture together?”

“Thank you, and of course” Karlie smiled again.

The teenager’s mother took their picture, then smiled warmly at Karlie. “I watch your videos, too. I tried your pumpkin loaf recipe once and it was amazing.”

“Oh, thank you so much.”

The family went on their way again and Karlie sat back down. Taylor looked at her with wide eyes. “Wow. Does that happen often?”

Karlie shrugged. “Yeah, from time to time. It’s not like I’m super famous or anything. But I love meeting subscribers.” She smiled and took a sip of her matcha latte.

“Wow.” Taylor reiterated. “That girl looked super star-struck, though.”

Karlie giggled. “I know. I have no idea why that happens, though. I’m just a normal girl.”

 _Yeah, a super normal girl with millions of subscribers and the most gorgeous smile the world has ever seen,_ Taylor thought. She felt her ears become red. She was too scared to accidentally say a thought like that out loud and embarrass herself, so she pushed those thoughts aside.

She then realized she still had to respond. “I was kind of star-struck too though, at the party.” She said it as quietly as possible, but Karlie still heard her, and a wide grin appeared on her face. Taylor blushed.

Karlie looked like she wanted to say something, but instead just bit her lip. Taylor noticed the other woman’s cheek become red just a little bit, and how she avoided her curious gaze. Karlie cleared her throat.

“So, your project …”

Taylor felt taken aback by the sudden change of subject but went along with it.

“Yeah …?”

“What inspired it? I’m curious.”

Taylor swallowed and took a moment before she spoke again. There it was again, the overwhelming feeling of Karlie’s genuine interest in her.

“I’ve just always been a fan of true crime and crime shows in general. I mean, you know where my cats got their names from …” she laughed. Karlie grinned at her.

“And a while ago I bought this really intriguing novel, it’s called ‘The other typist’, and it kind of inspired me to want to do a true crime series for my project. I actually want to only cover historical cases in NYC, because the book is set in 1920s NYC and just because it interests me the most, but Emma suggested I cover more popular cases first and I do the rest later when I have a routine, so yeah …” she rambled on.

Karlie nodded along and smiled encouragingly. “I think that’s super fascinating. And the fact that Emma wants you to save the best for later says a lot.” She gave Taylor a pointed look.

Taylor’s eyes went wide. “You mean … she’s planning on letting me stay at Blaze after my internship?” Her heart started beating faster.

Karlie tilted her head a little. “I’m not saying anything, only that it’s a good sign. She seems to like you.”

Taylor nodded, not knowing what else to say. Then something came to her mind she had wanted to ask Karlie. She had no idea how to ask it. Her brain, however, did what it did best and simply blurted out the question before she had more time to think about it.

“Why did you ask to collaborate with me?”

Taylor had never wanted to kick her own ass more than in that moment. _Yes, let’s ruin this budding friendship._

Karlie raised an eyebrow, then chuckled. “Am I not allowed to try and get to know people?”

Taylor had no idea how to respond. She just sat there and stared at Karlie.

“I just wanted to get to know you more, Taylor. And the first two times we met we always got interrupted and there was no time, so I thought I’d invite you over. And I liked you in the videos you got featured in, too.”

Taylor swallowed thickly. “Thank you …” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Karlie smiled shyly and took another sip of her matcha latte. Taylor wasn’t sure if she was imagining it, but she felt like the mood between them had shifted and there was a slight tension. Karlie’s demeanor had changed, too.

Desperate to resolve the tension, Taylor asked “What project did you work on when you came into the office with Todrick?”

Karlie perked up at the question, looking relieved. “Oh! It’s for a series on women in STEM, or STEAM. So STEM is science, technology, engineering, mathematics, and STEAM includes art, too. It’s a super cool project. I’ll be interviewing a couple of women who work in these fields. We haven’t started filming yet, but we will next week.”

Taylor nodded along. “That’s so cool! I had no idea you were into this kinda stuff.”

Karlie winced a little at the comment, and Taylor put up her hand. “I’m sorry! I-“

Karlie interrupted her. “No, it’s okay. I know. I’m not the type or whatever. But I’m actually super into all sorts of science, especially computer coding. So yeah.”

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be so surprised. I did that too when I learned you do your own camera work and edits, and I’m so sorry, Karlie. There is no ‘type’ of women or people in general who are into this stuff. I think it’s super awesome.” Taylor let out a long breath. “It’s just not something that’s well-known about you, I guess?”

“No” Karlie sighed. “It’s not. You know how I started my internship at Blaze right after high school right? And then suddenly I had my own channel, and it was all about beauty, and fitness, and baking, and then I was kind of … stuck with that content, I guess?” She sighed again. Taylor hung on to her every word.

She took the last sip of her beverage before she continued. “And it’s not that I don’t love my job or the content that I create, but I wish I could show all my interests. And I’m my own boss for the most part, but there’s also this pressure to stick to what you’re doing.” She shrugged. “So yeah, when Todrick asked me to work on the project with him, I immediately agreed. I’m super excited about it.” She smiled.

Taylor nodded. She had genuinely had no idea, and she had called herself a fan of Karlie’s before they had met. She would do her best to be worthy of being called a friend of Karlie’s from now on.

“I’m super happy that you get to work on the project.” She smiled at Karlie. She wanted to take a sip of her own beverage but realized it was already empty.

“And you should totally go for whatever content you want to create. You’re so smart, and so many of your fans are young girls like the one we met earlier. You could make a great impact on them.”

Karlie seemed to think about that for a moment. “Yeah, you’re right. I haven’t even thought about it in that way yet.” Then she crinkled her nose. “But please don’t call them my fans, I’m not a celebrity or anything. They’re subscribers, I think that’s a very neutral term that puts us more at eye level.”

 _You’re gorgeous, and you have millions of subscribers, and young girls look up to you!_ Taylor wanted to shout into her face, but she nodded silently. “Okay, sorry.” She giggled.

Karlie laughed too. “So yeah. I’m actually going to LA next week for filming.”

Taylor’s eyes went wide. “Is everyone going out of state? Abigail is going to Florida, you’re going to LA … I’ll just be in front of my computer then, writing and waiting” she said drily.

Karlie gave her shoulder a playful shove and laughed again. “You’ll manage.” Then she added: “But we should totally go for coffee when I come back and catch up.”

Taylor’s heart started beating faster again. “I’d love that” she said and looked at her feet, feeling shy.

They went on their way a little while later, enjoying the sunshine and cherry blossoms. Taylor took photos with her polaroid camera, and Karlie teased her about it. When they took a selfie and Karlie let Taylor keep the polaroid, the butterflies in Taylor’s stomach went wild.

Karlie’s hand was on Taylor’s shoulder again, and Taylor could make out each freckle on Karlie’s face. “We can just take another polaroid for me to keep the next time we see each other” Karlie said and winked.

It was all Taylor could think about for the rest of the weekend, and it kept her up until two am, wondering if Karlie was indeed, maybe, possibly, a little bit interested in her too.


	8. Eight

 

_See Messages: Wednesday, April 10th_

**Karlie**

Hey, how have you been? Just wanted to let you know that our collab will be uploaded today at 4pm! So excited!

_2:36 pm_

**Taylor**

Hey, I’m good. I’ve been working on my project and I was in another video this morning. We tried Japanese snacks, so it was awesome.

_2:38 pm_

And yay! I’ll stay longer at the office then so I can watch it immediately 😊

_2:38 pm_

How’s LA?

_2:39 pm_

**Karlie**

I want Japanese snacks too 😭

_2:44 pm_

LA is great, the interviews are going well, and we’ll film two more collabs for my channel and then at least one more video starting tomorrow, so I’m super busy and making the most of my time here. I’m thinking of trying some vegan restaurants for a video or something.

_2:45 pm_

And it’s also super warm and sunny 🌞

_2:45 pm_

**Taylor**

That’s awesome! Can’t wait to see your videos 🤩

_2:47 pm_

Emma just came over to my office and we watched our video together 😂😂 it turned out super well! You did an amazing job Karlie 😍

_4:13 pm_

**Karlie**

I’m glad you like it! Wouldn’t have been as good without you though.

_4:21 pm_

 

***

 

_See Messages: Tuesday, April 16th_

**Karlie**

Hey, loved the second episode of your true crime show! Jack the Ripper always freaks me out though 😳😳

_11:05 am_

**Taylor**

Omg! Thank you for watching! It has so many views I’m a little overwhelmed lol. But yeah I felt a little sick to my stomach during my research a couple of times …😫

_11:07 am_

**Karlie**

I came back to NYC last night btw. Are you free this weekend? 😇

_11:08 am_

**Taylor**

Welcome back! But no, I’m sorry. My mum is visiting. Are you free in the afternoon during the week sometime?

_11:13 am_

**Karlie**

Ohh, have fun!

_11:14 am_

No ☹ … I’m super busy editing all my new videos and stuff and then I have another meeting for the women in STEAM project with Todrick.

_11:15 am_

**Taylor**

Thank you!

_11:16 am_

Oh too bad ☹ We can just text then and see if we’re both free sometime 😊

_11:17 am_

**Karlie**

Sure 👍🏻

_11:18 am_

 

 

***

 

_See Messages: Thursday, April 25th_

**Karlie**

Are you going to the Blaze party tomorrow?

_5:12 pm_

**Taylor**

Yes! Abigail and I are going. 😊

_5:17 pm_

**Karlie**

Awesome! See you there!

_5:20 pm_

I missed you.

_5:21 pm_


	9. Nine

Taylor and Abigail stood with a group of people from their department, drinking their beers and laughing. This party was different from the first one Taylor had attended for a number of reasons. She felt more comfortable, she had Abigail there, and she knew more people. The fact that the house was even bigger and there were even more famous people there than at the previous party in March intimidated her, but not nearly as much.

“There you are!” A familiar voice exclaimed. Karlie was approaching their group with two people in tow.

Karlie had given her the longest hug when they had seen each other again earlier. It had earned her a pointed look from Abigail, but also put the biggest smile on her face that she still couldn’t wipe off. She felt confident tonight. The long look with which Karlie had not-so-subtly admired her outfit, plaid black and white high waisted shorts and a simple black tank top, also had something to do with it.

 _She said she missed me._ The text message was all Taylor had been thinking about. She felt a little bad that she hadn’t replied to it, but she just hadn’t been able to come up with anything. ‘I missed you too’ would have felt natural, yet entirely too much. Luckily, Karlie hadn’t mentioned it earlier.

“Hey” Taylor greeted Karlie and smiled.

Her eyes went wide when she saw who was standing next to her. Karlie laughed. “I wanted to introduce you to my friends, but I see you already know who Cara is?”

Taylor blushed. “Oh yeah. I do. It’s nice to meet you, Cara. I’m Taylor.” She awkwardly shook Cara’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too” the British model said. “I’ve heard a lot about you-“

“And this is my best friend Derek” Karlie said quickly, interrupting Cara and giving her a death stare. The blonde man standing next to Karlie chuckled.

“Hey Taylor, it’s nice to meet you.” They shook hands.

Taylor suddenly felt uncomfortable, like she was being presented on a silver platter. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Abigail curiously looking into her direction.

Before any more awkward tension could ensue, Cara started making small-talk, and Karlie looked relieved. Abigail joined them and was introduced, and the group talked for a while.

The conversation went towards Karlie’s recent trip to LA.

“All these women I interviewed were so inspiring” Karlie gushed.

“Taylor, you studied English literature at college, right? You have to tell me about college sometime. I’ve been thinking about taking computer coding classes, I really want to learn more. And the project inspired me a lot.”

Taylor could feel Derek’s and Cara’s eyes on her. She nodded.

“Yeah I did. But I’m sure college here in the city is different than it is back home.” She bit her lip. “But I’d love to, and I think it’s awesome you’re thinking about going back to school.” She smiled at Karlie.

Abigail looked confused, and Taylor realized she had no idea about Karlie’s interest in science. She shrugged. She didn’t feel like it was her business to tell her friend personal details from Karlie’s life that she trusted her with.

Cara started asking Taylor all sorts of questions about her personal life, and Taylor felt a little overwhelmed at the brunette’s straightforwardness. She noticed that Karlie looked embarrassed and wondered what was going on. Derek, for the most part, just stood there, grinning and observing. It unnerved Taylor as well.

Nevertheless, the conversation went on for a while, and then the group dispersed, joining other people to talk or to get more drinks.

Taylor found herself in the kitchen where a few guys Taylor knew in passing were mixing cocktails. She had been talking to Selena, who had already excused herself again. So now she was alone with the guys. She was having fun making small-talk but felt like one of the men was giving her a little too much attention.

“I used to work as a bartender, so I know a lot about mixing cocktails” he said and grinned at her. Taylor simply nodded. If he thought he was impressing her, he was wrong.

Suddenly, he took a step forward towards Taylor. She instinctively took a step backwards but hit her back against the kitchen counter. She wheezed a little at the sudden pain. The guy didn’t seem to notice and put his hand on the counter, practically encircling Taylor. She gulped. She craned her neck to see if anyone else was taking notice, but the others weren’t paying them any mind. She nervously took a sip from her cocktail and tried not to freak out.

“You’re really pretty” the guy said.

“Th-thanks” Taylor stammered. He was standing uncomfortably close. She could smell the alcohol in his breath.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Taylor looked at the ground and shook her head no. She tried to take a step around the guy, but he moved with her. Taylor had no idea if he was even realizing what he was doing, or if it was his intention to make her feel small. All the confidence from earlier was gone.

“What’s going on here?”

Taylor looked up when they were interrupted by a familiar voice. Usually cheerful and friendly, the voice was now loud and angry. Before she knew what was happening, Karlie was standing in front of her, shoving the guy away from her.

He looked too stunned to protest. Now the others in the kitchen looked into their direction as well.

“Don’t you dare touch her! If you touch her or talk to her ever again I’m getting your creepy ass fired, am I making myself clear?”

The guy’s jaw dropped to the floor. Taylor didn’t know if it was because he was getting threatened to get fired or if it was because it was Karlie Kloss yelling at him, or both. Taylor’s mouth was wide open as well.

The other guys seemed to realize what had happened and started talking to him now as well, anger apparent in their voices. Karlie turned towards Taylor. Her expression instantly softened and she lightly touched Taylor’s arm.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Taylor smiled. “Thank you.”

She took a big sip of her cocktail.

“Are you sure?”

Karlie’s touch lingered.

“Yeah. He didn’t touch me or anything. I’m fine.”

Taylor regained her composure. Karlie was intensely studying her face. Somehow there was simultaneously a certain softness in her eyes, and a fire burning. She shuddered.

“Good” Karlie said and raised her chin. “I’m glad I found you.”

Taylor smiled at her again. Her previous anxiety was gone. She felt safe next to Karlie, and her intense gaze did its part to rebuild her confidence. Their eyes met, and Taylor gulped. Karlie’s eyes looked more blue than green in the moment, like the ocean. It was unlike anything she had ever seen before.

“Let’s get out of here” Karlie said. Her voice suddenly sounded hoarse.

Taylor nodded. With her cocktail in one hand, she let Karlie grab her other hand and lead her back into the living room. The music was loud, and a few people were dancing on the makeshift dancefloor in the middle of the room. Taylor suddenly realized that the sun had gone down, and it was getting late.

Karlie dropped her hand. Taylor instantly craved her body contact again and took a step towards Karlie so that their shoulders were touching. She felt Karlie take in a sharp breath. They were still simply standing in the room, and Taylor could feel people eyeing them curiously. It felt like Karlie didn’t know what to do either, and neither of them felt like dancing or joining a group of people.

A jolt of heat ran through Taylor’s body when Karlie placed a hand on her waistline. She was now hyperaware of their surroundings.

“Come with me” Karlie whispered into her ear.

Before Taylor had the time to think, Karlie was dragging her through the room and out into the hallway. The music could only be heard as a muffled sound through the closed door. There were two people standing in the hallway drinking and talking, but Karlie seemed to take no notice of them. She led Taylor around the corner. Taylor knew there was a bathroom behind one of the doors.

Karlie, however, pushed open a door to their right and hummed when she saw it was empty. She pulled Taylor inside with her and hastily closed the door. She didn’t turn on the lights, but the room was dimly lit from a street light shining in. When Taylor’s eyes adjusted, she saw that it was a small laundry room. Before she could say anything, Karlie had turned around and her hands were on her waist again.

Taylor’s breath hitched in her throat. She put her cocktail glass on the dryer and leaned against it, in need for balance. Karlie took a step towards her and lightly pushed her against it. Taylor instinctively placed her hands on Karlie’s arms – not to keep her away, but to steady herself.

Their eyes met. For a long moment, they held their gaze. Neither of them spoke. Taylor’s thoughts ran a mile a minute, trying to keep up with what was happening. She could see Karlie swallow thickly.

“Taylor …” it came out barely above a whisper.

Taylor hummed in response, unable to form words. She hoped it did enough to convey her thoughts. She saw the questioning look in Karlie’s eyes and nodded ever so slightly. It was enough for Karlie.

Karlie’s lips crashed into hers. Her hands held Taylor in place. Taylor eagerly kissed her back, and her hands wandered up Karlie’s arms and wrapped around her neck. She pulled her closer. The kiss was urgent and sloppy, but neither of them cared.

Taylor knew that the alcohol was lowering their inhibitions, but she didn’t care about that, either. This was what she wanted. Karlie’s lips on hers and her hands all over her.

When they separated to breathe, Taylor noticed that Karlie’s eyes had the color of the deep sea. She let herself get lost in them for a moment. Then, Karlie’s lips were on hers again, kissing her passionately. Karlie’s hands roamed over her body.

Suddenly, Karlie lifted Taylor up so that she was sitting on the dryer. She took a step forward so that their bodies were touching. Taylor couldn’t help but let out a low moan. She felt embarrassed for a split second, but those thoughts were pushed aside when Karlie responded by kissing her even harder. Karlie’s tongue was hot in her mouth, and her head was spinning. She was thankful for the firm grip Karlie had on her.

They kept making out, and Taylor became bolder with each minute. She let her hands roam over Karlie’s body and reveled in the reaction it got out of the tall blonde. Her body was tight and muscular, and it took every restraint in her to not rip off Karlie’s shirt. She had seen enough of her work-out videos to know of the abs hidden under her shirt. She kissed her again.

Taylor briefly wondered where they were going with this. She had no idea how far Karlie intended on going tonight.

She got her answer when a sudden commotion outside of the door made them stop short a few minutes later. They both glanced at the door, then looked at each other. They giggled. Taylor used her thumb to rub away the lipstick she had smeared near Karlie’s lips. Karlie closed her eyes at the contact. They stayed like that for a moment.

When Karlie opened her eyes again, she looked like she had seen a ghost. Taylor couldn’t place the look in her eyes. Karlie’s eyes roamed over her face, then she placed a soft kiss on Taylor’s lips. Taylor shuddered. The atmosphere in the room had changed. Karlie slowly untangled her limps from Taylor’s. With each loss of contact, Taylor felt her chest tighten. Karlie took a step back, her fingertips resting on Taylor’s knees. Taylor was still sitting on the dryer, unable to move.

“Taylor …” Karlie reiterated, but it could not have been more different than the previous time. There was a hint of sadness in her voice.

Taylor gulped.

“Karlie …” Her voice barely made a sound. She cleared her throat.

She suddenly realized what they had been doing, and what it meant. Her eyes widened, but she couldn’t tear them away from Karlie’s face. She wanted to reach out to once more touch Karlie’s face, but Karlie held her arm. Karlie’s lips were shaking when she spoke.

“Taylor … I’m sorry.”

She slowly backed away, squeezing her hand one last time. Taylor couldn’t move.

“Please … forget about this. Please.”

Karlie turned and opened the door. The light from the hallway flooded the small room, illuminating the sadness on her face that Taylor couldn’t see. The hallway was empty again, and Karlie stepped out and walked away, leaving the door ajar. Taylor could hear her footsteps fading, and then the front door shut with a loud thud.

She remained there alone, and then the tears started falling.

 


	10. Ten

 

Taylor woke up from the sound of rain hitting her window. She lazily opened her eyes. The room was still dark. She reached for her phone on the nightstand and groaned when she saw it was only a little after 6 am. She couldn’t have slept for more than a few hours.

Then, the memories from the night before came rushing back. She threw her head back onto the pillow. The party. Cocktails. Karlie. The laundry room. Soft lips. Karlie leaving. The hot tears running down her own face.

Once more tears started forming in her eyes, and she did nothing to stop them. She lay there crying, thinking about what had gone wrong. Her cats started meowing and Olivia jumped onto the bed, but Taylor didn’t reach out her hand to pet her like she usually would.

Why had Karlie left? Had Taylor misread the situation? Hadn’t it been Karlie who had initiated the kiss? Karlie who had told her she missed her? Karlie who always reached out to her? Why had Karlie left?

She turned around and pulled the blanket over her face. The sound of the rain outside mixed with her quiet sobs. She fell asleep again.

She only woke up from Olivia’s and Meredith’s loud meowing, the cats demanding their breakfast. She sighed. Her face felt sticky from the dried tears. She slumped out of bed and filled the bowls with cat food. Then she simply stood in the room, not knowing what to do with herself. The sun had come up, so she opened the blinds. It was still raining, albeit lighter than before.

She forced herself to eat a poptart she found in her kitchen cabinet, then went back to bed. She couldn’t remember if she had any plans for the day, but she didn’t care. She checked her phone, but there were no messages from Karlie. Of course not. She only had a message from Abigail, asking why she had left the party so suddenly. Taylor replied and made up something about wanting to go to sleep early, then put her phone away.

The afternoon found Taylor sitting on her bed with her guitar, still in her pajamas. She was mindlessly playing a few chords, humming along. She hadn’t played much since she had moved to NYC. The familiar feeling of the guitar in her hands was comforting. When she tried to put her sadness into words, her tears started falling again. She wiped them off the instrument with the sleeve of her shirt, then started singing whatever came to her mind.

The weekend went by in a daze.

 

***

 

By Monday, Taylor was ready to re-focus her energy on her work. She was glad to not have a video shoot planned so she could sit in front of her computer and do research on her next case unbothered. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, all she wanted was to take her mind off Karlie.

“Hey Taylor, how was your weekend?” Abigail asked when they were both in the kitchen.

Taylor shrugged. “It was okay.”

She knew she could tell Abigail, but she didn’t want to bother her. Besides, she had no idea if she would accidentally out Karlie by telling her friend what had happened at the party. So, she decided to keep it to herself.

“You look … tired.” Abigail gave her a strange look.

“Yeah, I’m just feeling a bit under the weather, is all. That’s why I left early too.” Taylor didn’t meet Abigail’s eyes. For emphasis, she decided to drink herbal tea instead of coffee.

“This will make my throat feel better” she said and tried not to look like she’d rather drink anything else at this moment.

“How was your weekend?” she asked when they went back towards the office.

“It was great, I cooked dinner with my boyfriend.” Abigail smiled.

Taylor hummed in response and smiled back, then went towards her desk. She didn’t have to look up to know that Abigail was staring at her, trying to figure her out. Eventually, she heard Abigail resume typing and breathed out.

She decided that her next video should be on the Dyatlov Pass incident. It was a case that intrigued her, no matter how many times she read about it or how many theories she learned: Nine ski hikers die in 1959 in the Ural Mountains in Russia. Something had caused them to leave their tents during the night while not wearing enough clothing to survive the sub-zero temperatures. Most died from hypothermia, but the bodies of some also showed signs of physical trauma, and one was missing their eyes and tongue. Taylor shuddered.

She spent the next hours taking notes and outlining her video, then sent an e-mail to Emma with a summary and proposition when to start filming.

Taylor saved all her documents, then closed all the tabs and opened the Blaze website. They were encouraged to browse the website at the end of the work day to always keep up with the latest content. Taylor often forgot about it, however. She scrolled through the news. _Helpful tips to clean your room. Top ten mistakes we all make when dying our hair. Fire fighter tells the dramatic story of how he rescued a family of five from their burning house. Is social media darling Karlie Kloss dating entrepreneur Joshua Kushner?_

She took a double take. _Wait, what?_

She clicked on the article, hating the fact that she was giving it any traffic. A picture of Karlie and a guy Taylor didn’t know but assumed was the business man appeared on her screen. Her heart started beating faster. The two had been photographed taking a walk in Central Park. They were laughing, seemingly enjoying themselves and oblivious to the paparazzi. Taylor squinted her eyes. The photos were way too close-up for them to not have seen a camera being pointed at them. And besides, since when did Karlie have to deal with paparazzi anyways? She was popular, sure, but she wasn’t _that_ famous.

She read the article. ‘A source close to Blaze’ had apparently confirmed the two of them dating. The article also mentioned Karlie’s past at the company, and Josh’s recent investments. _Bullshit_ , Taylor thought. _What kind of ‘source’ at Blaze writes an article … about Karlie’s dating life … on the Blaze website?_ That just seemed invasive. Taylor knew for a fact that everyone at the company adored Karlie. And she also knew that journalistic integrity was something at least most people here cared about. She huffed.

Annoyed, she closed the tab and shut down her computer. She mumbled a goodbye to the others in the office, then left. On the subway, she put in her earphones and let her thoughts wander. The timing of the article was strange, to say the least, after what had happened Friday night. If Karlie was seeing someone, she would have surely told Taylor, and especially, most definitely, not passionately made out with her. Taylor sighed. It dawned on her that Karlie had really meant it when she had told her to forget about it.

Once safely within her own four walls, she couldn’t keep the hot tears from falling any longer.

 


	11. Eleven

 

Taylor was sitting on the sofa in Emma’s office, drinking a cup of coffee. She felt hungry, but it was still two hours until lunch.

“This looks good, you wrote way more than most interns” Emma said and grinned. She put Taylor’s two month internship report aside.

“Well, I do lots of things” Taylor laughed.

“And I’m sure you’ll do so much more in the next four months.”

Taylor felt grateful for Emma’s kind words. They were exactly what she needed to hear after the couple of days she had had.

“So, Taylor” Emma started. “I got an e-mail from Ms. Aldridge this morning, Karlie’s manager. She wants to collaborate again.” She smiled.

Taylor’s face fell. The announcement had come too unexpected for Taylor to mask her feelings. Emma tilted her head to the side. “What’s wrong? Are you not happy about it?”

“I …” Taylor didn’t know what to say.

“I have to say I’m surprised her manager messaged me. They could have at least put you in CC. I would have forwarded it to you, but since we had this appointment anyways I thought I’d tell you in person.” Emma looked at Taylor expectantly.

“Yeah … weird.” Taylor swallowed thickly.

“Did filming not go well the last time?” Emma asked with concern in her voice. “I saw the video and it looked like you were having fun? I know the final edit isn’t always how it went down in reality, but you were so happy afterwards, too?”

Taylor shook her head no. She couldn’t form words, too focused on not crying. She realized that Emma had no idea Karlie and she had been meeting privately. And how would she know? She also hadn’t been at the party on Friday, so there was no way she had seen them act friendly. Taylor sighed.

“No, the filming was fun. I’m sorry. I’d love to collaborate again. Please tell her that.” Taylor cleared her throat.

“Okay …” Emma said, not sounding convinced.

“You know you’re allowed to write your own business e-mails, as long as I agree to what you’re doing outside of Blaze, right?”

Taylor looked at her hands in her lap, then spoke quietly. “Yeah, I know. But please, if you don’t mind, please reply in my stead.”

“Okay.” Emma seemed to be wrecking her brain for something else to say. “I don’t know if you saw, but Karlie seems to have a boyfriend now? Did she tell you about him?”

 _Oh my God_ , Taylor thought. _Can the ground swallow me whole._

She put on her best smile. “Oh yeah, I saw. I’m happy for her, but she didn’t mention him. I just thought it strange that there were paparazzi photos on our website?”

Emma nodded. She didn’t catch on to Taylor’s fake smile. “Yeah, but from what I’ve heard the article was specifically requested by her manager. I don’t know, it’s not my department, really.” She shrugged and laughed.

Taylor simply hummed in response. She couldn’t get out of the office quickly enough. Luckily for her, Emma had no more topics to talk about for now and let her go. Taylor practically ran down the hallway, towards the elevator and then outside. The noises of the city surrounded her, and she walked quickly down the block. She had no destination. All she wanted was to walk off her frustration before she went back to the office.

She checked her phone. There was a text message each from her mum and brother, and then a push notification from Twitter. She opened it only to wish she hadn’t. She groaned. Karlie had made a post. She had reached five million subscribers on her channel and thanked people for their support. Just last week Taylor would have felt proud and would have immediately replied, congratulating her. Now it only filled her with sadness, and she quickly closed Twitter.

Taylor had walked around the block and was now standing in front of the office building again. She took a deep breath and walked in.

She already dreaded having to face Karlie the next week.

 

***

 

“You tricked me into coming here.”

Taylor was standing in Karlie’s living room, arms crossed in front of her chest. The tension was almost palpable.

Karlie gulped. “I …”

“You knew damn well that I can’t say no to coming here when Emma is involved.” Taylor’s tone was accusatory. Her jaw was clenched. She was looking directly at Karlie, who was looking anywhere but Taylor.

“I’m sorry.” Karlie held her own arm and looked at the floor. Joe the dog was lying on his bed by the window, watching them.

“I can’t believe you.” Taylor swallowed thickly. She willed herself not to start crying. “What the fuck, Karlie? You left. You just left me there at the party. I want to know why.”

Sometime during the last week, Taylor’s sadness had turned into anger.

“I …” Karlie finally looked up at Taylor but didn’t continue. Their eyes met. The sadness in Karlie’s eyes bore deep into Taylor’s heart. She wanted to step forward and embrace the taller woman but stopped herself.

“Why Karlie? Why do you want me to forget about it? Why did you plant that god-awful article about you and Josh?”

Karlie’s eyes went wide. She took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, Taylor. I can explain. I just …”

Taylor gave her a second. When Karlie didn’t continue, she became impatient. “You can explain? Are you sure?” She walked towards the living room table that had the forms she needed to sign for their collaboration on it.

“You invite me over and think we can just continue like we did? After you hurt me? You hurt me, Karlie. I can hardly stand just standing here talking to you, not to mention filming a video with you.”

Taylor took the print-outs. She looked at Karlie with a pointed look, then ripped them in two. Karlie took in a sharp breath.

“I came here because I had no other choice, and I thought maybe you want to talk. But it seems like you don’t even know why you’re doing what you’re doing. I won’t film a video with you.” The pieces of paper were falling to the floor as she spoke.

She started pacing back and forth. She caught a glimpse out of the wide windows onto the city. The sun was shining and there was not a single cloud in the sky. It annoyed her how it didn’t reflect her mood at all.

Taylor stopped some two feet in front of Karlie. She noticed that the younger woman was shaking and breathing heavily. She once again had to stop herself from reaching out to touch her. She bit her lip.

“Taylor …” Karlie’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Taylor was ready to listen attentively, but Karlie still didn’t elaborate. Taylor sighed deeply.

“Talk to me, Karlie. Why did you leave me there? Why did you ask me to forget it?”

Karlie exhaled loudly. They stared at each other for a long moment. Taylor felt herself growing impatient again. She wanted an answer out of Karlie, and her silence frustrated her.

“Why? Is making out with some female intern at a house party not part of your perfect straight girl image?” She hadn’t meant for it to sound so mean and was shocked at her own tone of voice. But when she saw Karlie tear up, she knew she had hit the nail right on the head.

Her jaw clenched. “Are you serious?”

Karlie still didn’t respond. There was a single tear rolling down her cheek. Taylor felt a sharp pain in her chest at the sight. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help her anger and frustration.

Suddenly, Karlie took a step forward and grabbed Taylor’s arm. Taylor looked up, and they were face to face. Karlie’s grip was strong, but her scent was sweet.

She pressed a hard kiss to Taylor’s lips. Taylor was too shocked to react at first, but then she impulsively reciprocated the kiss. Karlie’s lips were soft, and Taylor opened her mouth to allow her tongue in. She felt a hot jolt go through her body when Karlie eagerly kissed her more.

A moment later, Taylor realized what was happening and pushed Karlie away. She took a step backwards, too. Karlie looked surprised and hurt.

“Karlie, no. I can’t do this.” Her voice was shaking.

“You can’t just make out with me and then pretend it never happened. I like you a lot, Karlie. But I can’t do this. You’re hurting me. Can’t you see that?”

Karlie didn’t respond and was unable to meet Taylor’s eyes. Taylor felt her anger flare up again.

“I think you have some stuff you need to figure out first, Karlie. I don’t want to be your dirty little secret. You can’t kiss me and then tell the world you have a ‘boyfriend’. You can’t hurt me like this. You’re only hurting yourself in the process. It doesn’t work that way.”

Taylor exhaled loudly. Karlie was staring at her with tears in her eyes. It took everything in Taylor not to wrap her in a hug and kiss her cheeks and tell her everything would be okay. She needed to distance herself for her own sanity.

She turned to go. She couldn’t hide the sadness in her voice when she spoke next.

“I’ll see you, Karlie. Let me know when you’re ready to talk. Don’t forget this, please.”


	12. Twelve

 

Two weeks went by. Taylor turned her anger into productivity. She wrote and filmed two more videos for her true crime series. Only when she was alone at night, she let the tears flow freely, letting only her cats be the witnesses of her sadness.

“Is everything alright between you and Karlie?” Emma asked two days after Taylor had gone over to Karlie’s house to ‘collaborate’.

Taylor couldn’t help but heave a heavy sigh and look down at the ground. Emma had found her in the kitchen, microwaving her lunch.

“I’m sorry, Taylor, I don’t mean to intrude. But I didn’t get a copy of the contract like the last time, so I was wondering if you filmed a video at all?” Emma spoke carefully as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

“No.” Taylor didn’t look at Emma. The image of the torn pieces of the contract falling to the ground replayed in her mind. “We didn’t film. I’m sorry. We had some … personal issues. I’m sorry.”

Emma took a step forward to place a hand on Taylor’s shoulder. Taylor’s first instinct was to jerk away, but then she realized how much she needed the comforting touch of a friend. She hadn’t told Abigail. Her mum knew, but she was hundreds of miles away, as were her old friends. New York had started to feel lonely again. She turned around.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Taylor” Emma said. “But if you want to talk, I’m here. I know I’m your supervisor, but I won’t judge. I’m also your friend. I hope you can work it out with Karlie.”

“Thanks” Taylor mumbled quietly but looked at her feet again.

The _ding!_ of the microwave interrupted the moment. Emma let go of her shoulder, and Taylor took out her food.

“I’ll see you around, Taylor, and you can always come to my office” Emma said as she left the kitchen.

Taylor nodded in response, even though Emma couldn’t see it. Once the door was closed, she sighed again.

She didn’t want to talk about it to anyone who knew Karlie. She had no idea if she would out the other woman and make matters worse. Karlie seemed to be having enough of a hard time as it was. Besides, the only person in the office who knew she was gay was Abigail, and she didn’t want to out herself either. Not because she didn’t think the others wouldn’t be supportive. She just didn’t want to deal with it. Coming out at every new work place and to every new group of people was exhausting.

She took her lunch box to eat outside on a park bench to enjoy the warm and sunny weather.

 

***

 

A week after her fight with Karlie, Taylor found herself in the basement film studio once again. There were racks of clothing standing in the middle of the room, and skirts, jeans, and shirts, spread over any chair or general surface available. The video was about switching styles, and everyone had brought their favorite clothes.

“Where’s Abigail?” Selena asked and looked at her phone impatiently. The other writers, interns and junior producers present simply shrugged and all looked in Taylor’s direction, as if she knew where her friend was at any given time of the day.

“I don’t know” Taylor said to no one in particular and blushed. “She’s just late sometimes-“

“Guys!” Just then the door opened, and an overly energetic Abigail came rushing in. Her red curls looked even messier than usual, and she was breathing heavily.

Everyone looked at her in expectation.

“Sorry, I just had a Skype call. The first video of my project is being uploaded tomorrow!”, she squealed.

Taylor squealed right back at hearing the news and clapped her hands. She rushed towards her friend and wrapped her in a big hug. The others were cheering too, though she knew most of them had no idea what project Abigail had been working so hard on for the last two months.

“I’m so proud of you! I can’t wait to watch it!” she said as they separated. Abigail was grinning from ear to ear.

“I’ll be in it too, interviewing someone in Florida. I’m so happy!”

Selena came over to congratulate Abigail as well. “You’ve really been putting your all in it, Abigail! Congratulations!” They exchanged hugs.

When everyone had calmed down, they started with their preparations for the video. It was decided who was going to swap clothes with who. Taylor was disappointed she didn’t get to make Abigail wear one of her polka dot dresses, but the girl Selena introduced her to was nice as well.

In fact, the girl looked almost nervous to be working with Taylor. She was a few years younger than Taylor and had only started her internship at the beginning of the month. Taylor did her best to keep the conversation going, which was quite hard to do when the girl mostly stared at her with a timid expression on her face.

“So, I have this sunflower dress you could try, it could fit you …” Taylor tried to direct the conversation to the matters at hand.

“You’re so cool.” The girl suddenly blurted out and hastily put her hand over her mouth, blushing a deep red.

Taylor tilted her head a little. “What?” She wasn’t sure if she had heard correctly. ‘Cool’ was not an adjective commonly used to describe her.

“I just … I love your videos. Your true crime series is so good, and I watch the other videos you’re in just because of you. And you’re so pretty.” The girl avoided looking at her face and blushed even harder.

Taylor couldn’t help but blush too. She had no idea how to react. “Th-thanks …” she stammered and fiddled with the fabric of the dress in her hands.

“I’m sorry, this is probably so unprofessional of me right now. But I’m so excited to be in a video with you, right at the start of my internship even. I had no idea you were an intern too, I could have sworn you were a junior producer or something!”

“Thank you.” Taylor smiled at the girl, even though she felt embarrassed. She didn’t think of herself as someone other people looked up to or were nervous meeting.

“Everything going all right over here? Did you each pick something?” Selena interrupted them.

The two interns shook their heads no. “Give us a minute!”

When Selena went away, Taylor grinned at the girl. “Okay, let’s focus on the video, shall we? We can have lunch together today if you’d like.” The other intern’s eyes went wide, but she nodded enthusiastically.

Taylor spent the rest of the morning having fun on set and laughing at the ridiculous outfits Abigail had to wear in the video. It took her mind off Karlie for a while.

 

***

 

Nearly two weeks after she had left a stunned and hurt Karlie standing in her living room, Taylor got a push notification from the _Klossy_ channel.

She furrowed her brow and clicked on the video. She realized it was Karlie’s first upload since they had seen each other. It made her wonder if Karlie’s way of dealing with emotional stress was the opposite of hers, given the fact that she had uploaded two videos within the same time span.

She got comfortable on the couch and scratched Olivia behind her ears. The white cat meowed contently. Taylor’s guitar was leaning against the couch and there were notes with lyrics sprawled across the couch table. She had found a way to turn lonely weekends into making new things. Cooking, baking, writing songs.

Karlie appeared on her phone screen, looking cheerful and wearing work-out clothes. Behind her usual attire Taylor thought she could detect a sadness, however, a kind of tiredness that had been eating at Karlie. Her green eyes didn’t have that special glint that they usually had. _Or maybe I’m just reading too much into it,_ Taylor thought as she watched the video.

Karlie was at her gym, and her friend and colleague Casey was a guest, trying to beat her in her work outs. Taylor laughed along as the two bickered with each other and tried to cheat when the other one wasn’t looking. She gave the video a ‘thumbs up’.

When the video ended, she put her phone on her couch table and exhaled loudly. Olivia jumped onto her lap, and she petted the kitten. She didn’t know how to feel. It had felt good to see Karlie, if only on screen. _I miss her_ , she thought. _But I can’t run to her. She has to approach me. I told her how I feel. It’s her turn to tell me how she feels and why she acted the way she did._

She closed her eyes for a moment. Then she went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Olivia jumped up and followed her. Meredith was sitting on her bed next to the bookshelf, observing them. Standing at the sink, Taylor’s eyes fell on the polaroid stuck to her fridge. It was the one Karlie and she had taken at the cherry blossom festival. Just like the push notifications, it was something Taylor hadn’t been able to get rid of. _Karlie promised me we’d take another polaroid for her to keep._

She sighed and went back into the room. She spent the rest of her afternoon playing guitar, browsing her phone and texting friends and family back home.

She was just finishing washing her dishes and was looking forward to reading until bed time when her phone buzzed with an incoming text message. She wiped her wet hands on the kitchen towel and picked it up from the kitchen table. Her eyes went wide, and she took in a sharp breath when she saw the message:

_See Messages: Sunday, May 19 th_

**Karlie**

I think I’m ready to talk.

_8:24 pm_


	13. Thirteen

 

Karlie was shifting uncomfortably, fiddling with the holes in her ripped jeans. She was sitting at the opposite end of the couch from Taylor, both of them as far apart as possible so that they wouldn’t accidentally touch. Taylor gulped. She was just as nervous. She felt weird having Karlie over at her place.

“So …” Karlie started and took a deep breath. She looked up at Taylor. Taylor simply stared back, not knowing what to say.

“I’ve been thinking a lot.”

Taylor nodded, signaling Karlie to keep talking. The tension in the room was thick, and they hadn’t spoken a word to each other since Karlie had arrived. The cats were sitting on Taylor’s bed, watching them. Not even Olivia had felt the need to approach the new guest in the house.

“Taylor … I’m sorry for how I treated you. I owe you an explanation. It was awful of me to leave you there at the party, and then practically force you to visit me at my house and then not talk to you. And for kissing you again. God … . I … “ Karlie swallowed thickly.

Taylor nodded again, not changing her facial expression. She felt too hurt to let any emotion show.

“I’m scared.” Karlie’s voice came out as a whisper.

Taylor perked up at the change in her tone of voice and shifted a little. She had figured as much, but hearing it from Karlie felt heavy.

“I didn’t leave because I was ashamed of what we did. I really like you, too, Taylor.” Karlie’s voice broke. She cleared her throat.

“But I’m scared. I was scared someone could walk in on us. I was scared someone could … you know … out me. I’m not really out to anyone, except for my closest friends. But not to my family, or even in public. It’s something … it’s a pretty delicate situation.”

Karlie cleared her throat again. She looked at Taylor with wide eyes, and Taylor realized she was supposed to say something.

“I accept your apology, Karlie. But you hurt me. I’m still hurt. I felt like your dirty little secret when you left me there, and especially when you staged those pictures with Josh …” She saw Karlie wincing at the mention of his name.

“It was a one-time thing, I promise. I don’t ever want to do something like that again” she said hastily.

Taylor shrugged. “Okay. It was your decision, Karlie. But I can also understand where you’re coming from. I know what it’s like to be scared. I’ve been there. But I hope you see how much you hurt me in the process as well.”

Taylor watched as Karlie thought about her words. She couldn’t help but notice that she looked tired, with dark circles under her eyes, and a little skinnier than she remembered her. Taylor felt a shiver run down her spine. It was time they talked and made up.

“I’m so sorry, Taylor. I’ll do anything to get back to where we were. I don’t want to lose you.” The sadness was evident in Karlie’s voice.

Taylor moved towards Karlie ever so slightly. “I think we have a lot to talk about. I want to understand you better, Karlie. And I promise I won’t keep any secrets from you in return. Then we can figure out how to go from here.” She put as much determination into her voice as she could, hoping to convey a feeling of security towards Karlie. She wasn’t sure if she actually felt determined and strong, but she wanted to be there for Karlie and to have her back in her life.

“Okay” Karlie simply said and inched closer towards Taylor as well so that their knees touched. Taylor shivered at the contact. She had missed it.

Karlie proceeded to tell Taylor about her situation and how she was scared to come out to her family. She was sure they would be supportive, but there was still a tiny doubt in the back of her mind about it. Her public image was even more complicated. She wasn’t known for dating many men or anything, but she still had an image to uphold and a career to maintain.

“Everyone you work with is super open and supportive” Taylor argued, but Karlie still worried.

“I’m just scared. I know I will be much happier when I don’t have to hide, but it doesn’t make it any less scary.” A tear rolled down Karlie’s face. Taylor wanted to wipe it away with her thumb but wasn’t sure if she was overstepping any boundaries.

Come to think of it, they would have to establish those first. She had no idea if they were on the same page.

“Well we already admitted that we like each other” Karlie said with a sad smile, “but I don’t want to drag you into the mess that my life is right now.”

Taylor gulped. “You want to be friends?”

“Of course I want to be your friend, Taylor. I want to be so much more too, but I just can’t give you more right now, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

Taylor had a strong feeling that she would end up hurt no matter which direction they were going to take, but she simply nodded in response. “Okay.” It came out weaker than intended.

They talked more, and Taylor told Karlie how she had come out to her family in college and the relationship she had been in at the time. She also told her how she wasn’t out at Blaze except for Abigail, but how it didn’t bother her anymore. It would all come in time.

Karlie stayed for over an hour. When she had to leave, Taylor felt awkward for a moment. How was she supposed to act around Karlie now? Did they shake hands? Sign a peace treaty?

They ended up hugging tightly for a long moment. Taylor felt comforted by Karlie’s strong arms, and she hoped her presence did the same for Karlie too. Karlie smelled just as sweet as always, and it gave Taylor hope that maybe things wouldn’t be too drastically different between them from now on.


	14. Fourteen

 

“Taylor! Hurry! I already tweeted it out! I’m uploading now!” Karlie exclaimed and laughed. She was sitting on the couch in her living room, laptop next to her.

“Alright, alright! I’ll be right there!” Taylor giggled from the kitchen. She was pouring them both iced tea into large drinking glasses.

She went into the living room, balancing the beverages in her hands. Joe the dog followed her, wagging his tail and running between her legs.

“Jeez, Joe!”, she laughed as she stumbled but caught herself at the last second, managing not to spill anything.

“Didn’t you say you only had him for a little while here?” she asked Karlie and put the iced tea on the couch table.

“Yeah, but I kinda needed him here, I didn’t want to give him back. I know it’s not ideal because I don’t have a backyard, but we go outside twice a day” Karlie said and gave a half-smile.

Taylor nodded.

Karlie returned her focus to her laptop screen and clapped her hands together, watching the upload process. Taylor sat down next to her, and Joe jumped onto the couch too.

Taylor sat as close to Karlie as possible without overstepping their well-established boundaries. Their knees were touching. Out of the corner of her eye Taylor thought she could see Karlie blush a little and did her best not to stare.

“Is it up yet?” she asked to distract herself.

“2 minutes!” Karlie turned towards her and grinned.

Seeing Karlie’s genuine excitement and her wide smile, Taylor felt a pang in her chest. She was happy that the two of them were back to being friends, but it hurt her nonetheless. She wanted to kiss Karlie and hold her in her arms. She wanted her to push her against the wall and make out with her. All she had was lingering touches and shy smiles. It would have to do for now.

 Karlie’s phone buzzed on the couch table and she leaned forward to pick it up. She laughed when she saw the message.

“Kimby, my younger sister just texted to say she saw my tweet and is waiting for it to upload too. Though she also said ‘I’m only watching for Taylor so don’t flatter yourself’.”

She threw her head back laughing, the cheerful sound filling the room. Taylor laughed too but couldn’t stop herself from staring at Karlie’s neck all the while.

She gulped. “Kimby is one of the twins, right?”, she asked to make sure she was remembering correctly what Karlie had told her about her family.

“Yeah, Kimby and Kariann are the twins. They’re graduating high school right now.” Karlie said and beamed.

Taylor nodded in response. Her heart started beating quicker at the thought that Karlie had told her sisters about her. She wondered how much they knew. From what she could tell the sisters were pretty close. Growing up with only a younger brother, she could only admire their sibling dynamics.

The video was uploaded, and Karlie quickly set the title they had agreed on, wrote a description and set the usual tags. Then she tweeted the link and started the video. Taylor had already seen the final edit, but it was always special to see it uploaded. It was something she couldn’t get tired of and she appreciated that Karlie seemed to feel the same even after so many years.

Joe barked when Karlie appeared on the screen, causing the two women to laugh. They had collaborated on another one of Karlie’s cooking videos, this time making three different types of healthy summer salads.

Taylor wasn’t sure if she was imagining it or if Karlie had inched closer to her as the video progressed. By the time the video was over, their thighs were pressed close together. Taylor wanted to pull away and make room between them, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“Are you going to reply to people’s comments again?” she asked to distract herself.

“Of course!” Karlie beamed and refreshed the page. Taylor was amazed how the video already had several hundred views and a few comments.

“This is my favorite part!” Karlie grinned.

Taylor had to use all her willpower to not lean in for a kiss on the cheek, finding Karlie adorable in the moment. She wanted to wrap her arms around her and rest her head on her shoulder. She wanted to-. She sighed. She took a sip of her iced tea so she would stop staring at Karlie for at least a couple of seconds in a row.

Comments other than ‘omg first!1!’ started appearing under their video, and Karlie enthusiastically answered a couple of lucky subscribers’ questions.

“Aww, look, everyone is happy you collaborated with me again!” Karlie cooed. “They want to see more of you in my videos and say they love you in Blaze’s videos too.” She turned towards Taylor and smiled.

Taylor blushed. “Tell them thank you” she mumbled. Her eyes went wide when she saw Karlie actually typing ‘Taylor says thank you!! <3’.

“What?” Karlie asked and laughed.

“Nothing.” Taylor hid her face behind her hands.

A while later Karlie closed her laptop and took a sip of her iced tea. She scratched Joe behind his ears.

“Hey, how about we take a walk together?”

Taylor was surprised at the question, but agreed. “Sure, I’d love to.” She hoped she wasn’t blushing again.

They agreed to walk to Central Park and then walk around there, even though for Taylor’s standards, the walk there was already exercise enough.

“Oh come on!” Karlie laughed. “Do you work out at all?”

They were walking down the sidewalk, Joe tugging on his leash.

“Not really, no. I go jogging sometimes, and I usually take the stairs.” Taylor shrugged.

“I have a fantastic video idea!” Karlie grinned mischievously. “Karlie vs Taylor workout!”

Taylor groaned in response. “That’s terrible. Thumbs down.”

Karlie burst out laughing. Taylor felt butterflies in her stomach at being at the receiving end of her melodious laugh once more. They kept walking, talking and bickering with each other.

When they reached Central Park, Karlie let Joe roam free and the little Yorkshire Terrier went off to explore. Taylor inhaled deeply, enjoying the fresh air between the trees. The warm afternoon sun was shining bright. June had come around and brought the Big Apple more sunny days, tourists and ice cream stands. Taylor felt excited for her first summer in the city.

After a while they walked past one of the aforementioned ice-cream stands, and Karlie pointed at it excitedly. “Let’s get some ice cream, my first of the year!”

Taylor laughed and agreed. Karlie got lemon and dark chocolate, a combination she swore by, while Taylor chose strawberry and vanilla. Karlie good-naturedly teased her for it.

They sat down on a park bench and Joe came running back to them, lying down at Karlie’s feet. Taylor opened her purse with one hand and pulled out her polaroid camera.

“Oh my God!” Karlie exclaimed in disbelief, drawing the curious look of the ice-cream seller.

Taylor ducked her head a little. “What?”

“Do you just carry that thing with you everywhere you go?”

“Oh … yeah, kinda …” Taylor blushed. She could still feel the seller’s eyes on them and wondered if he had recognized Karlie.

“It’s kinda cute, though.” Karlie licked her ice-cream, but Taylor didn’t miss the red spots forming on her face.

“Thanks … wanna take a picture?” she asked shyly, looking away from Karlie’s face.

Karlie grinned and inched closer to Taylor. “Sure! I’m gonna keep this one, right?”

Taylor leaned closer too and stretched out her arm, hoping to get a good angle. She took the polaroid and then put the camera into her lap before she replied.

“Sure.” She felt her head spinning at the thought of Karlie wanting to keep a picture of them. She wondered where Karlie would put it. On her fridge? On her bedroom wall next to pictures of her and her sisters? Or did she have an old-fashioned photo album? Taylor shook her head. There wasn’t really a way to ask.

 _Relax,_ she told herself. _She already told you she likes you. No need to overanalyze everything. We’ll get there in time. Hopefully._

The camera zurred and spit out the picture. Taylor gently placed it in her palm.

“Can I see?” Karlie asked, leaning in way too close.

“There’s nothing to see yet, Karlie, you have to wait.”

Karlie pouted. “Okay.” She didn’t lean away again.

“How about now?”

“Oh my God, Karlie!” Taylor groaned.

Karlie giggled, and Taylor felt the butterflies making their rounds again.

 _God,_ she thought. _Being next to her is too much. But I just can’t not be around her._

She cleared her throat. “There, all done.” She handed the polaroid to Karlie.

“Thank you so much!” Karlie beamed.

Taylor mumbled a shy ‘you’re welcome’, then focused her attention on her ice-cream again. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the ice cream seller still looking in their direction. She shifted uncomfortably. She wondered if Karlie had any second thoughts about them being seen in public together, but she didn’t dare bring up the topic.

“Let’s keep walking?” she suggested after a moment.

“Sure!”

They continued their leisurely stroll, Joe staying close to them this time. They talked about this and that, and Taylor felt herself relax again.

“Hey, when’s your next video coming out?” Karlie asked at one point.

Taylor grinned widely. “Tomorrow, actually!”

“Really? That’s so exciting!”

“I know! We finished the last details today, and will upload tomorrow. It was gonna be up like a week ago but the guy who does the visuals had a super important deadline so it was a little delayed. I don’t mind, though. It’s gonna be the last one in the series, so I had five in total.”

“What is it about?”

Taylor sighed in response. “The zodiac killer. Cliché, I know.”

“Are you not happy with it?” Karlie asked and raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, I’m happy with how it turned out. But it’s not what I was originally going for. I wanted to cover historical cases from NYC, remember? Because that one book inspired me to do it and-“

“Taylor!” Karlie interrupted her and stopped walking. Taylor bumped into her a little.

“I know you probably haven’t talked about it with Emma yet, and I don’t work at Blaze anymore, so I have no say in the matter, but let me tell you one thing: They’re gonna keep you. They would be crazy not to. And once your internship is over and you’re a junior writer or producer or however they call it, you can create any content you want. Okay? Just be patient.” She exhaled deeply.

Taylor felt speechless. “You really think so?”

Karlie groaned and put a hand on Taylor’s shoulder. “Yes, Taylor, I really think so. I know a good content creator when I see one. You still have a lot to learn, but you have so much potential. You’re in like every second video Blaze puts up these days.”

Taylor blushed. She felt that what Karlie was saying was true, however. She smiled at Karlie. “Thank you, I kinda needed to hear that.”

Karlie smiled back at her. They walked in silence for a while until something came to Taylor’s mind.

“So when are you uploading your women in STEAM series?”

“Next week! I completely forgot to tell you!” Karlie slapped her hand against her forehead and laughed.

“All the editing is finally done. We had to wait while they edited the entire series which will be six videos in total, so we couldn’t upload them one by one. That’s why it took so long.”

Taylor nodded along, encouraging Karlie to keep talking.

“But I’m super nervous. I hope my subscribers will like it. It’s kind of a new chapter for me. Showing more of my interests.” She shrugged.

This time it was Taylor who reassured her. “I’m convinced everyone is going to love it. Like I said, so many girls look up to you, and you can show them it’s cool to be smart.”

Karlie smiled. “Yeah.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon together, talking, laughing, enjoying each other’s presence. Taylor felt like she could be with Karlie like this every day, even though there were moments that felt like torture. Leaning in too closely, sitting with their knees touching, a hand on her arm. Taylor did her best to commit it all to memory.

 _One day soon,_ she told herself. _One day soon I’ll get to kiss her again._

 

 


	15. Fifteen

 

The humming of the air conditioner and the noises of the cars that were coming in from the busy street were the only sounds in the room as Taylor was waiting in Emma’s office for the editor to return. She had gotten a call and gone outside to answer it right when they had been about to start their meeting.

She was mindlessly scrolling through her phone, checking her social media. A notification popped up from Twitter, and she curiously clicked it.

When she saw what it was, her heart started beating faster. Someone she didn’t know, but who was apparently a subscriber to a number of channels from Blaze, had tweeted her a video. _‘This is you right?’_. The video was of her performing in Nashville from a couple of years ago. She put her head in her hands in embarrassment.

She knew those were still on the internet somewhere. She would have never thought that anyone would ever recognize her, though. She thought about what to do, and decided to go with a simple _‘yup, that’s me :)’_ as a reply. She even favorited the tweet. Before she had more time to ponder, Emma came rushing back into her office, sweating from the heat and apologizing furiously.

“No worries” Taylor reassured her. “I don’t really have to be anywhere after this. I had a video shoot this morning and ate lunch before this.”

Emma nodded relieved. They started talking about this and that.

After a while, Emma got serious. Taylor felt nervousness rising in her chest. She wasn’t the new, anxious person she had been only four months earlier, but Emma never called her to her office just to make small-talk.

“So, your true crime series has already ended a while ago, huh? And you’re working on smaller projects here and there now, right?”

Taylor cleared her throat before she spoke. “Yeah, that’s correct.”

Emma smiled. “Your internship ends in roughly six weeks. Any plans for what you want to do afterwards?”

“Oh … I …” Taylor didn’t know how to reply. Should she have been writing applications?

“You already know this, but it’s not too early to say that your internship has been very successful. It’s a pleasure to have you around. You completed your own small project, and you’ve been participating in other videos, getting praise not only from the people you work with but equally importantly from our viewers as well. You’ve written articles for our website, too.” Emma folded her hands in her lap.

Taylor’s heart started beating faster with every word that left Emma’s mouth.

“And you’ve even worked with Karlie Kloss a couple of times.” Emma gave her a strange look she couldn’t interpret, but Taylor’s heart started beating even faster at the mention of Karlie’s name.

She nodded, looking at Emma with wide eyes.

Emma smiled again. “It would be a pleasure to keep you here from September on as a junior producer, Taylor. What do you think?”

Taylor felt her throat go dry. “I … I’d love to.” It came out hoarse, and she cleared her throat again. “I’d love to” she repeated.

Emma grinned. “I’m very happy to hear that. We’d love to employ you, Taylor. Of course you are required to finish the internship according to plan, but you will work more closely with Selena from now on and learn about the technical stuff as well. You have a lot of potential.”

Taylor felt like she could hug the whole world. On impulse, she got up and gave Emma a hug. The supervisor laughed and hugged her back.

“Thank you so much!” Taylor couldn’t believe it.

She recalled what Karlie had told her a while ago. She grinned. “Karlie said something about me being able to stay here after my internship …”

“Karlie?” Emma’s eyes went wide. “Oh dang … did she hear about it from Todrick?”

Looking at Taylor’s reaction, the editor realized she probably said too much and hastily put a hand over her mouth.

“Anyways …” She leaned forward.

“So, you’ve collaborated with Karlie a couple of times now, huh? I assume everything is okay again between the two of you?”

Taylor blushed. “Yeah, and yes. We resolved our … issues.” Emma didn’t need to know the details. She and Karlie were friendly, and that’s all she was going to say.

“I’m happy for you.”

They talked more about Taylor’s internship and her other projects and videos she was in. Emma didn’t bring up Taylor’s true crime show, and Taylor didn’t have the guts to ask. She didn’t want to ask for too much, having just been offered a job. She would figure it out over time.

For now, she had a lot of text messages to send and phone calls to make and freak out about the opportunity she had been given.

 

***

 

Taylor was in the middle of writing an e-mail to another producer about a video they were working on when Selena came into the office.

“Hey Taylor, hey Abigail!” The two interns looked up. They were the only two in the office.

“What’s up, Selena?” Abigail asked nonchalantly, but Selena went over to Taylor’s desk. Taylor looked at her with wide eyes.

“I saw that video on Twitter. I have to say, I had no idea you played guitar and are such a good singer, Taylor.” She held out her phone towards the blonde.

Taylor had no idea what she was talking about for a second, but then it hit her. “Oh, you saw that?” She felt embarrassed.

“Are you kidding? Did you check your Twitter at all? I just talked about it with a couple of the other producers. Everyone is so in awe of your singing, Taylor!”

Taylor put her head in her hands.

Abigail chimed in. “What are you guys talking about?” She took her phone from her desk and started browsing.

“Someone tweeted a video at Taylor of her performing. It’s pretty awesome” Selena explained. Abigail whistled when she found the video and played it. Taylor didn’t move, feeling shy.

“Where is this?” Abigail asked while watching.

Taylor turned towards her friend. “I used to go to Nashville on the weekends when I was in college to perform small gigs. I played at the Bluebird Café a lot, where the video was taken. It was a lot of fun, and it made me a little bit of money, too.” She shrugged.

“Look at you with your long curly hair and that sparkly dress!” Abigail cooed. “Damn Taylor, you told me you played guitar, but I didn’t know you were this good!”

Taylor blushed and mumbled a ‘thank you’. She felt awkward. She had slowly gotten used to be the center of attention when filming videos, but this felt different, more personal.

“I just wanted to come by and tell you I loved it, Taylor, and maybe you can perform for a video or at one of our next office parties?” Selena asked. “Just throwing around ideas here.”

Taylor gulped. “Oh, yeah, I’ll think about it.”

“Did you write a lot of songs?” Abigail asked.

“Yeah, I have a lot of older songs. I’ve written a few recently but didn’t finish any, I just have a lot of notes and chords and stuff.”

Abigail hummed in response.

“Sorry for the interruption, guys, I’m heading home now” Selena announced and waved, then left the office again. Taylor and Abigail waved good-bye, too.

“I really wanna see you play guitar now” Abigail said, not letting the topic rest.

Taylor wasn’t sure if she was more humbled or embarrassed. “I’m sure I’ll play in front of an audience again sometime.”

Abigail grinned at her in encouragement. The two friends finished their work for the day, then left for the subway station together. As soon as she got home, Taylor picked up her guitar.


	16. Sixteen

 

“So, I was gonna tell you something …” Karlie started when she came back from the salad bar and placed her bowl on the table. She sat down and took her fork but didn’t start eating.

From across the table Taylor was looking at her with an expectant gaze. She mindlessly twirled her pasta around her fork as she was waiting for Karlie to continue. They were at a restaurant two subway stations away from the Blaze office, but Karlie had insisted they meet there and try the lunch buffet.

Karlie took a sip of her smoothie before she spoke. She cleared her throat. “I came out to my sisters.”

Taylor’s jaw dropped, but she quickly caught herself. She put her fork down. “I’m so happy for you! How did it go?”

Karlie laughed. “It went well. They weren’t that surprised.”

“Seriously?” Taylor laughed too.

“Well, my older sister Kristine kind of was, but even she said she found it odd that I had never brought a guy home before. Had to explain to her that my ‘best friend’ from high school, who practically lived with us she was at our house so much, was my girlfriend at the time. I can’t believe none of my family ever caught on to it.” She giggled.

Taylor’s eyes went wide, not having heard that story before.

“But yeah, the twins said they already knew. So that was that.” Karlie laughed again.

Taylor smiled at her and reached for her hand across the table. She squeezed it gently. “How are you feeling now?”

“I feel great. I wish I could’ve told them in person, but I couldn’t wait until I see them again, I don’t even know when that will be, I’m not going home for the 4th of July. So yeah.” Karlie smiled back at Taylor, though it didn’t escape Taylor how she nervously glanced around them since she had taken her hand.

She put her hand back in her lap. “What about your parents?”

Karlie looked down at the table and gulped. “I didn’t tell them yet …”

“That’s alright, Karlie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you” Taylor said hastily, leaning forward.

Karlie gave her a sad smile. “Yeah …”

“Hey, you made a lot of progress Karlie, and I’m so proud of you. It will all come in time.” Taylor wanted to take Karlie’s hand again but decided against it, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

“Thank you.”

They smiled at each other and kept eating. Taylor didn’t know if the conversation was over, but she also didn’t want to intrude. She desperately wanted to know if Karlie had told her sisters about her or if they had asked about her. However, there was no way to really ask.

Being around Karlie had become increasingly difficult for her. They were friends and Taylor enjoyed every minute she spent with Karlie – it had become a lot of minutes, actually. They saw each other constantly, going to lunch or for coffee, hanging out at each other’s houses or going outside, and had filmed another collaboration video. Being around Karlie was something Taylor was looking forward to and it was always the most exciting part of her day. But there was also the tension, all the unspoken words between them. Taylor was giving Karlie time to figure herself out. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t longing to be with Karlie romantically. She wondered if Karlie felt the same or if she was content with their situation.

“I saw that video someone posted of you on Twitter” Karlie said suddenly and grinned.

Taylor, who had been lost in her thoughts, perked up. “What? Oh. Yeah. Everyone seems to have seen it …”

“Hey, no need to be embarrassed. It was awesome. I had no idea you used to perform in front of an audience. You should do that again here in NYC, there’s plenty of bars always looking for new acts.”

Karlie smiled. “Have you been writing songs recently?”

_Oh, all the songs about how gorgeous you are and how much I want to be with you?_

“Yeah, I have … I don’t know”, Taylor tried to say as nonchalantly as possible. She shrugged.

“I’d love to hear them one day!”

_I’d rather die._

“Sure!”

They finished their lunch and lined up at the buffet again for dessert. Digging into their chocolate cake, Karlie dropped another news bomb on Taylor.

“I applied to take college classes.”

Taylor’s eyes went wide. “Really? That’s awesome! You’ve been talking about that!”

Karlie smiled. “Yeah. I think I’ll take introductory classes for programming, starting in the fall semester. Just one or two at a time, I need to take it slow because I’ve been out of school for a while.” She pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “But I hope I’ll get in. I’m super excited. I need a breath of fresh air.”

Taylor nodded along. She felt excited for Karlie, who seemed to be taking steps into several new directions.

“My women in STEAM series has been getting so much positive feedback that I feel confident that I can explore my interests in those fields more.”

“That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you!”

Karlie smiled at her shyly. “Thank you. You’ve been a great inspiration to me, Taylor. You just live your life and you’re so unapologetically you. I want to be more like you.” She blushed.

Taylor sat still in shock. “Me?”

Karlie wanted to be more like her? Taylor had spent the last two or so years admiring absolutely everything about Karlie – her work, her success, her personality – and this very same Karlie said she wanted to be more like her? She needed a second to process this.

“I … wow. I feel very honored that you think so.” She looked at Karlie, and their eyes met.

“I mean it. You moved to the Big Apple all by yourself to start your life over, and you’ve just been doing whatever you want and what interests you. That’s super cool.”

This time it was Taylor’s turn to blush and feel shy. “Thank you.” This was the second time within a few weeks that someone had described her as ‘cool’. She didn’t want to get used to it, but it did feel pretty good.

They finished their dessert and went outside. The sky was overcast, and it was hot and humid. Taylor couldn’t wait to be back in her air-conditioned office. They hugged good-bye for a long moment, then took the subway in different directions. Taylor spent the rest of the day replaying their conversation over and over again in her head.


	17. Seventeen

 

Taylor made her way up the stairs to the street level, exiting the subway station together with a mass of other people. She was about to get her phone out of her purse to check where she needed to go when she saw there was no need for it. The Bowery Ballroom was located right across the street. A wide grin appeared on her face.

She found Karlie, Derek and Cara waiting in line only a minute later. Everyone exchanged hugs and greetings, though Taylor felt a little shy meeting Karlie’s friends again. She had only met them once briefly. Karlie hugged her a little longer and tighter than her friends did, and when they separated she looked her up and down with a raised eyebrow.

“I see we’re both dressed in black tonight?” she asked and smirked.

Taylor took in Karlie’s outfit and blushed. Karlie was wearing a very, very low cut black dress and a black choker. Her hair was in a neat ponytail. Taylor wrecked her brain to come up with a witty comment, but it was too focused on Karlie’s muscles visible underneath the wide-flowing, see-through fabric.

Cara next to her cleared her throat.

“Oh yeah, one of us should definitely go home and change” Taylor remarked drily. It caused the others to laugh, and she managed to look at Karlie’s face again.

Karlie looked back at Taylor intently. “You look pretty.” Her voice was low and quiet, but Taylor was standing close enough to hear. She blushed again and bit her lip.

“So, Taylor, are you excited?” Derek chimed in, unaware of Karlie’s compliment.

Taylor let her eyes wander over the crowd of people on the sidewalk before she spoke. She noticed the illuminated letterboard above the entrance, announcing tonight’s band. HAIM.

“Yes, I’ve been listening to their music for a while now! And they seem fun live!” She turned towards Derek and smiled.

When Karlie had invited her to come along, Taylor had been concerned to be out of place. She had invited Abigail, but her friend had plans with her boyfriend, as usual. Karlie had to convince her it would be alright and that she would warm up to her friends quickly. So here Taylor was, trying to do just that.

They made small-talk. A while later the doors opened, and the line moved along steadily until they were inside. They all breathed a sigh of relief when the cool air-conditioned air hit them. It was the early evening, but the day had been hot, and Manhattan was bustling with cars and people on a Friday night, heating up the streets.

“Where should we stand?” Karlie asked, walking forward and looking over the crowd.

Taylor giggled at how Karlie acted so naturally as their walking look-out tower. She was used to being the tallest among her friends, but that was not the case when Karlie was there.

“Near the bar?” Cara asked hopefully.

“I do want to see the band though, not everyone here is 6’2” Derek said and made a grimace.

Karlie laughed and turned around. Taylor, who was walking behind her, bumped into her a little.

“Where do you wanna stand, Taylor?” Karlie asked, standing close to Taylor and touching her arm.

Taylor shrugged. “Anywhere is fine.”

They opted for a spot a little to the side of the stage close to the bar.

“I’m getting a beer for everyone” Cara announced and went away.

The other three stood there and waited, watching the room fill with people, chatter and laughter. They talked about concerts they had been to before. Cara came back with the beer, and the opening act started playing a while later.

Taylor was standing next to Karlie, bopping her head along to the music and bumping into Karlie every now and then, trying to dance along. She could feel Karlie’s stare on her, but willed herself to ignore it. When she bumped into Karlie once more, she felt a steadying hand on her waist. It felt hot to the touch, and her heart started beating faster.

“Your dancing is adorable, but please don’t step on my feet” Karlie said close to her ear and grinned.

Taylor stopped in her movements and blushed. Karlie was standing so close to her again. It made her nervous and unsure about their set boundaries. Karlie’s hand hadn’t left her waist. She didn’t have to turn around to know that Cara and Derek were exchanging looks.

“I didn’t say you have to stop dancing” Karlie whispered and nudged her gently.

Taylor didn’t know what to do with herself. She was rescued when the song ended, and the band left the stage. She looked over to Karlie, who looked a little disappointed and removed her hand from Taylor’s waist. Taylor took the last sip of her beer, then handed the empty cup to Cara.

The lights went on again, and the loud chatter resumed.

“I’m getting more beer” Cara announced. She took everyone’s empty cups and went to the bar again.

“I need the bathroom” Taylor said and turned to go.

“Me too” Karlie said and went with her.

“Ok … I’ll just … stand here and wait, guys” Derek said and looked a little lost. Taylor felt bad for him yet couldn’t help but laugh.

“He’ll be alright” Karlie grinned.

The line was longer than expected, and when Taylor and Karlie came back the lights had already gone down again and the intro music was playing.

“Dammit, I think the band is coming out any second now” Taylor whispered.

“Yeah” Karlie replied, standing close to her again.

They looked around the room. The venue was packed, and everyone’s attention was on the stage. They didn’t want to go through the crowd now and ruin the moment the band went onstage for everyone around them.

“Let’s wait until there’s a break between songs” Taylor suggested, and Karlie nodded.

Just then the crowd erupted in cheers as the band came onstage. Taylor and Karlie cheered loudly too and clapped their hands.

“Good evening, New York City!” Este, the bass player, greeted them and they played the first song.

Knowing no one but Karlie was watching her, Taylor felt more confident to dance along to the fast-paced song. Her eyes were glued to the stage, though she was hyper-aware of Karlie’s proximity. A jolt of heat went through her body when Karlie confidently placed a hand on her waist again and started dancing along. Their shoulders were touching, and they were bumping into each other every other moment, but Taylor couldn’t bring herself to separate from Karlie.

She didn’t know what possessed her to do it, but in one swift motion Taylor wrapped her arm around Karlie, resting her hand on her lower back. She could feel the taller woman take in a sharp breath. Taylor was now all too aware of the thin fabric between her fingertips and Karlie’s hot skin.

Karlie looked at her intently, and Taylor caught her gaze. Instead of looking away, they stared at each other for a long moment. Neither of them spoke.

The next song started playing immediately after the first one ended, not giving them a chance to walk towards the others. Not that they were thinking about that right now, though, anyways. Taylor thought she would be content spending the entire concert at the back of the venue with just Karlie alone and no one else paying attention to them.

This song was just as fast-paced, and Taylor started moving her feet again.

_You're so close now_

_And I know now_

Karlie kept a strong grip on Taylor’s waist, causing her to stop moving. Taylor looked at Karlie with wide eyes.

_You gotta give me just a little of your love, baby_

_And I'll try_

_You gotta give me just a little of your love, baby_

_And I'll try_

Karlie looked back at her just as intently. Taylor instinctively pressed her body against Karlie’s and moved her hand to her hip. Karlie bit her lip. Taylor felt like they were the only two people in the room, all she could see was Karlie. All she could feel was Karlie’s touch. All she could think was how she wanted more of it.

_You gotta give me just a little of your love, baby_

_And I'll try_

_You gotta give me just a little of your love, baby_

_And I'll try_

Taylor leaned in first. Karlie’s lips were just as soft as she remembered them. Karlie kissed her back, and the kiss quickly became more urgent. Taylor opened her mouth and pressed her body closer to Karlie’s when she felt her tongue grazing hers. Karlie now had both of her hands on Taylor’s back, keeping her close.

Taylor’s mind was wiped blank. There were no worries that they were in public, or that they were crossing their boundaries. There was only Karlie and the excitement that was spreading throughout her entire body.

_You're so close now_

_So don't let me down_

_You gotta give me just a little of your love, baby_

_And I'll try_

_You gotta give me just a little of your love, baby_

_And I'll try_

The kiss went on as long as the song lasted. It was passionate and full of longing. Taylor reveled in how good Karlie’s touch felt. How much she had missed it. How all of her restraint wasn’t enough to keep them apart. It all just felt so right to her.

“How is everyone doing tonight?”

They were brought back to reality when Alana, the youngest of the Haim sisters, started talking to the audience. They hastily broke apart. Karlie glanced around them nervously, then looked back at Taylor. They stared at each other for a second.

Taylor smiled softly and wiped her lipstick off Karlie’s mouth with her thumb. Then she took her hand. Karlie still looked like a deer in the headlights.

“You’re alright” Taylor whispered and leaned close so Karlie could hear.

“Nobody saw. You’re alright.”

Karlie cleared her throat. “If you say so. Listen, Taylor, I’m so-“

“Shh” Taylor hushed. “Let’s go back to Cara and Derek and just have fun tonight, okay? We can talk about it later.” She squeezed Karlie’s hand.

Taylor didn’t know where her confidence was coming from, but she knew that this time, she didn’t feel hurt anymore. She knew she wanted Karlie. She knew Karlie wanted her. All they had to do was figure it out. In the moment, she felt oddly positive about the direction their relationship was taking.

Besides, she had wanted to see Haim play live for years, so she wasn’t going to let anything ruin her night. She started making her way through the crowd, tugging on Karlie’s hand.

“Where have you two been?” Cara asked with a raised eyebrow and handed them their beers.

The two just shrugged. “Long line, and then the show started. Didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Sure …” Derek said, but then didn’t continue.

Danielle, the lead vocalist and guitarist, thanked the audience for being there, then announced the next song and started playing. It was a slower one. Taylor and Karlie stood close so that their shoulders were brushing. Their hands were intertwined as they were swaying along to the music.

For the rest of the concert, Taylor could feel Cara’s and Derek’s stares burning holes into her back, but that didn’t stop her from having a smile on her face.


	18. Eighteen

 

“These are so good, Karlie!” Taylor said with her mouth full and grabbed another oatmeal cookie.

They were sitting on Karlie’s balcony, relaxing after filming a video and enjoying the sun.

Karlie took a sip of her iced coffee and grinned. “I know. And they’re healthy too, do you believe me now when I say not everything needs white sugar in it?”

Taylor grumbled something in response, still busy chewing the cookie. Karlie laughed.

Joe the dog was lying in the shadow under Karlie’s chair, and the music playing in the room was coming through the open glass door. They had been listening to Haim’s recent album on repeat, reminiscing their concert experience.

Taylor leaned back in the lounge chair and closed her eyes. After the concert they had gone to a bar for drinks. It had been fun, and Taylor had taken the chance to get to know Karlie’s friends better. Nevertheless, there had been a tension between the group. Cara and Derek’s constant questioning looks, though they never said anything. Taylor and Karlie sitting close to each other, holding hands, flirting. The alcohol had done its part, for sure. At one point when they were alone in the booth, they had made out again. Taylor felt her body tingling just at the memory.

“I’m going inside to get some sunscreen and make a sandwich, you want anything?” Karlie’s question interrupted her thoughts, and Taylor opened her eyes and shook her head no.

Once Karlie was inside, she sighed. She had felt so positive that night. Now she was back to being confused.

She wanted to take a sip of her water, but realized it was empty. She got up and followed Karlie into the kitchen. Joe got up as well and ran between her legs towards the stairs.

Karlie’s face lit up when she saw them come into the room. Taylor smiled back at her. Karlie was wearing her apron and in the middle of cutting an avocado. There was sunscreen smeared across her face.

Before she knew what she was doing, Taylor approached Karlie and wiped the excess sunscreen away with her thumb. Karlie looked startled for a second but closed her eyes at the contact. Taylor could feel her face heat up and turn red.

“Thanks” Karlie mumbled, and their eyes met.

Taylor smiled at her in response, then placed a soft kiss on her lips. She felt herself blush as well.

 _Boundaries!_ Her mind was screaming at her. _Boundaries! Ever heard of them?_ \- _She put her tongue in my mouth the other night!_ Taylor screamed right back at the voice inside her head _. I don’t think those boundaries are in effect anymore!_

Taylor cleared her throat.

“What … what are you making?”

Karlie took a second to respond, but then grinned. “A sandwich, as I told you three minutes ago.”

Taylor rolled her eyes in response. “Okay, smartass. Can I have one, too?”

“I thought you weren’t hungry?”

“No but I like everything you make so I wanna try.”

Karlie giggled, but Taylor saw her blush again.

She watched Karlie make two sandwiches with hummus and avocado. Then she remembered she had come inside for a glass of water and got herself one. Silently, the two women prepared their snack, then sat down at the kitchen island to eat. They didn’t really need to talk. Taylor knew where everything was in the cabinets by now. She couldn’t help but marvel at the domesticity of it all.

“This is the best sandwich I’ve ever had” Taylor said, once again with her mouth full.

Karlie, being above speaking with her mouth full, only nodded, but her eyes were sparkling. She always appreciated the simplest compliments, and Taylor admired that about her.

When they were cleaning up, Taylor noticed the collaboration form still lying on the kitchen island. She realized she hadn’t signed it yet and looked around for a pen.

Karlie watched her. “Soon you won’t have to sign those anymore”, she grinned.

“I know! Can’t wait!” Taylor beamed at her.

Once she was fully employed at Blaze, she wouldn’t need to send Emma a copy of the contract for every video she filmed with Karlie, or anyone else outside of the company, for that matter. She realized that after their first video, she and Karlie had been collaborating more than she would have ever imagined. Not to mention it was something that had been beyond her wildest dreams at the beginning of her internship.

As if on cue, Taylor’s phone started ringing with an incoming FaceTime call. It was Abigail. Karlie gave Taylor a questioning look, and Taylor shrugged. She usually only texted her friend. She picked up.

A mop of red curls appeared on her screen, and then Taylor saw her friend’s face.

“Oh my God, Abigail! You got a nose piercing?”

Abigail started laughing. “Yes, I did. Isn’t it awesome? But that’s not why I’m calling you right now.”

“What? I just saw you this morning! What happened?” Taylor asked with her mouth wide open.

“I just got hired as a project manager at Big Waves, a marine conservation non-profit!” Abigail was way too excited to keep the news to herself any longer.

Taylor shrieked in excitement and jumped up and down. Karlie looked excited as well. “Congrats, Abigail! I’m so proud of you!”

“I’m starting right in September! They saw my videos from Blaze, too!”

“That’s so awesome!”

Taylor realized she would lose a friend at the office but put those thoughts aside to not dampen her friend’s excitement. She hoped they would still find the time to hang out.

They talked about Abigail’s new job for a while more until she suddenly asked “Wait, Taylor, where are you? This isn’t your kitchen? It kinda looks familiar, though?”

Taylor blushed and held her phone so that Karlie was in the picture. “I’m at Karlie’s!”

“Hey, Abigail! Congrats!” Karlie waved towards the screen.

“Ohh!” Abigail raised her eyebrows.

“Are you guys ‘collaborating’ again?” she asked, making air quotes.

Now it was Karlie’s turn to blush. Taylor chimed in. “Hey, why the air quotes? We did collaborate, we just filmed a video an hour ago making oatmeal cookies!”

She wasn’t sure whether to feel amused or offended that her friend thought they had been spending their time otherwise.

“You finished an hour ago and you’re still there?” Abigail asked. She visibly enjoyed teasing her friend and watching Karlie awkwardly shift from one foot to another.

“Shut up, Abigail! We’re hanging out, okay? Let us live.” She stuck out her tongue at her friend.

“Alright, alright” Abigail laughed. “Have a good afternoon, you two. Have fun!” she said with a pointed look.

Taylor groaned. “Bye, Abigail!” She ended the call before her friend could embarrass her any further in front of Karlie.

Karlie was looking at her with a mixed expression of amusement and horror.

“How much … how much does she know?”

Taylor bit her lip. “Only that I … that I like you and that we hang out. Not more. I promise.” She looked at Karlie expectantly.

“Oh. Okay. I kind of … I kind of assumed you told her more after … what happened …” Karlie looked at the floor.

“No. I told my mum. But no one who knows you in person, Karlie. I kinda kept it to myself the entire time.”

Karlie exhaled audibly. “Okay. Good. I mean, not that you kept it to yourself, but that … they don’t know.”

They looked at each other. The mood had shifted and become serious. Taylor felt the need to break the tension but was unsure how to.

She took a step towards Karlie and grabbed her hands. Looking up into her green eyes, she saw the insecurity and anxiety that Karlie felt. She pressed a kiss onto her lips.

“It will all be alright, Karlie. Trust me.”

Karlie closed her eyes at the contact and hummed in response. She squeezed Taylor’s hand. Taylor was waiting for her to say something, anything, but instead Karlie kissed her, tightening her hold on her.

Taylor felt confused for a moment, but then got wrapped up in the kiss. Karlie placed her hands on Taylor’s lower back and pressed her closer to her. There was no time to think. The next thing she knew was that she was stumbling backwards until Karlie pressed her against the wall, breathing heavily. Karlie’s mouth found its way to Taylor’s neck, and Taylor craned her neck to give her access.

Taylor had no idea which direction their relationship was taking, now that their boundaries were clearly crossed. Karlie’s tongue felt hot against her skin. Taylor let out a whimper. She had no idea if she was only getting hurt again. Karlie’s hands lifted her shirt ever so slightly and Taylor shivered at the contact.

There was no time to think.


	19. Nineteen

Taylor was on the subway, her bag on her lap and watching a video on her phone. _23 things I’ve learned in 23 years._

It was Karlie’s birthday, and she was headed to her party. She laughed along at Karlie’s more silly than helpful advice and gave the video a thumbs up.

She felt nervous. She had no idea if they were on the same page anymore. They had been crossing all their boundaries lately. And yet, they had neglected to talk about it.

“Hey everyone, let’s sing happy birthday for Karlie!” Cara announced and clapped her hands once all the guests had arrived.

Karlie hid her face behind her hands while her friends were singing for her. Taylor looked around for familiar faces. She knew Cara and Derek, and had been introduced to Karlie’s younger twin sisters Kimby and Kariann earlier. There were four other people she only knew from Karlie’s stories, and she hoped to get to talk to them throughout the night.

Once everyone settled down and divided into small groups in the kitchen and living room, Taylor approached Karlie with her present. The taller woman beamed at her when she saw her coming over to where she was standing with her sisters. Taylor gulped, suddenly thinking she might have picked the wrong time. There was no way back now, however.

Karlie embraced Taylor in a side hug. Out of the corner of her eye Taylor could see the twins exchanging looks. She tried not to pay them any mind.

“This is for you” she shyly handed Karlie the present. It was nothing special, but she hoped Karlie would appreciate her humor.

“Oh, and my family says happy birthday too. Especially my brother. He’s watching your channel now that I’m on it too” she added drily.

Karlie rolled her eyes in response, then quickly unwrapped the present. She burst out laughing. “ _’Coding for dummies?’_ … Taylor, I swear to God …!”

The twins burst out in a fit of laughter as well. Kimby patted Taylor’s shoulder. “You’re funny. I like you.” Taylor didn’t know what to say, so she only grinned at her.

She remained with the sisters for a while, making an effort at getting to know the twins better. In between, Karlie went to get more wine for herself and Taylor and non-alcoholic sparkling wine for her sisters.

As the night went on, Taylor managed to talk to everyone and made rounds between groups of people. She even had a deep and lengthy conversation with Derek about writing.

 More often than not, however, she found herself by Karlie’s side. She didn’t know how much wine Karlie had already had, but at one point she felt like she should bring her a glass of water. Karlie looked disappointed, but drank it nonetheless. She was sitting on the couch, petting Joe.

When Taylor tried to pet him as well, Karlie jerked her hand away. “No Taylor, you don’t want to get any dog hair on your pretty dress” she slurred.

Taylor looked at her with a mixture of confusion and amusement. “Karlie, I get his hair on my clothes all the time. My cats are always jealous when I get home” she giggled.

Cara next to her raised an eyebrow. Taylor had no idea if Cara knew anything about how often she and Karlie really saw each other.

Karlie simply hummed in response and rested her head on Taylor’s shoulder. Taylor felt her pulse quicken. They were surrounded by Karlie’s friends and family, but she was unsure if Karlie would act this way if she was completely sober. She looked at Cara for help.

“I’m getting her another glass of water” the brunette mumbled and got up.

 

***

 

Taylor ended up as the last person to stay. Karlie had sobered up a little, and they were in the kitchen collecting plates and glasses to put them in the dishwasher. The twins were already brushing their teeth.

“Eh, I’ll do the rest tomorrow” Karlie said and shrugged.

She went around the kitchen island when she saw Taylor’s polaroid camera lying on it.

“Oh, did you take pictures tonight?”

Taylor giggled. “No, I completely forgot about it, actually. I placed it here when I came in.”

“Let’s take one right now!” Karlie suggested and clapped her hands. She took the camera and handed it to Taylor.

“You do it, I have no idea how it works.”

“You have to press the button, tech genius.”

Karlie stuck out her tongue. She stood closely next to her, then wrapped her arms around her. Taylor stretched out her arm to point the camera when Karlie stopped her.

“Wait. Let’s do this differently.”

Taylor furrowed her brows in confusion. Karlie shifted so she was facing Taylor and put her hands on her hips. Taylor felt her heart beat quicken. Trying not to think too much of it, she angled the camera again.

Karlie pressed a firm kiss on her lips. Taylor was caught off guard but closed her eyes instinctively. Without thinking about it, she pressed the button. They kept kissing until the zurring of the camera brought them back to reality.

They waited for the photo to develop and Taylor gasped when she saw it. It had captured the exact moment of them kissing, both with their eyes closed. It looked intimate.

Karlie smiled softly at Taylor. “I think you should keep it.”

“Th-thanks” Taylor stammered and went into the hallway to put the polaroid into the book she was carrying in her bag.

Just then, the twins came into the room to say good night to Karlie.

“You’re leaving, Taylor?” Kariann asked, misreading the situation.

“I … yeah.” Taylor thought she might as well leave now.

The twins said their good-byes and retreated into the guest bedroom. Taylor and Karlie stood in the hallway and looked at each other for a long moment.

“Stay?” Karlie asked, leaning forward ever so slightly.

Taylor cleared her throat. “Are you sure?” She didn’t want to leave. But she wasn’t sure if she should stay. They had already crossed all their boundaries. She couldn’t risk it. _Risk what?_

“Please?” Karlie’s voice was quiet.

“Okay.”

Karlie smiled again and took Taylor by the hand, leading her up the stairs.


	20. Twenty

 

As soon as the door closed behind them, Taylor’s back was pressed against it and Karlie’s hands were on her hips, wandering up and down her torso. Their lips crashed together. Taylor closed her eyes. She wanted this. There was no use in denying it or trying to keep their boundaries set. Karlie’s magnetic pull was simply too strong.

Karlie’s hands ran up her thighs and under her dress. Taylor gasped. She deepened the kiss and pressed her body closer to Karlie’s. Her hands were tangled up in Karlie’s hair. When they separated for a second, Karlie smirked at her.

Karlie regained her strong hold on Taylor’s hips and slowly led her to the bed. Taylor felt a rush of excitement run through her body, yet anxiety at the same time.

As if reading her mind, Karlie asked “Is this alright?”

She sat down on the bed and gently pulled Taylor on top of her. She never let go of her hips. Taylor exhaled audibly. “Yeah.”

She kissed Karlie again, slower this time. After a while, Karlie’s hands began exploring again, and the kiss became more passionate. Karlie found the zipper at the back of Taylor’s dress and pulled it down, causing the dress to loosen around Taylor’s chest. Taylor felt her pulse quicken. Karlie, however, did not make any motion to take it off just yet.

Their kisses became more urgent as Taylor’s hands started roaming over Karlie’s body as well. Her skin was soft, yet muscular and Taylor thought she could never get enough of it. Karlie let out a quiet moan, and Taylor shuddered. She wanted Karlie. She had no idea how far they would go tonight. All she knew was how right it felt to touch and kiss Karlie in this way.

After a while, Taylor noticed that Karlie’s hands had stopped exploring. Karlie was kissing her just as deeply, but her hands were gripping her waist as if for dear life. She separated and looked at Karlie.

“What’s on your mind?”

They looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment. Karlie kissed Taylor again, then spoke.

“I came out to my parents this morning.”

Taylor inhaled sharply. “This morning?”

“Yeah.” A giggle escaped Karlie’s lips. “I know they’re coming over tomorrow but I just … couldn’t wait. So after they sang happy birthday to me on FaceTime this morning, I came out to them.”

“How did they take it?”

Karlie started rubbing circles on Taylor’s hips with her thumb. “They were surprised. Asked if I had a girlfriend and if my sisters knew. But they told me they love me no matter what. They just want to talk more about it when they come here. Which is fair, and will probably be good for me, too. I’ve kept a lot from them over the years.”

The words came flowing out as if Karlie had been carefully containing them all day. She bit her lip. She didn’t look at Taylor, only continued rubbing circles with her thumbs.

Taylor leaned forward and lifted up Karlie’s chin with her index finger, making her look at her. She trailed her finger along her cheekbone as she spoke quietly.

“I’m so proud of you, Karlie. I’m happy you told them. I know it will all be alright, just talk to them about it openly and give them some time. They love you so much.”

Karlie closed her eyes. “Thank you, Taylor. It means a lot to me.”

Taylor had something else on her mind, a question she didn’t know how to ask. Had Karlie told her parents about her? Or her sisters? When Karlie’s parents had asked if she had a girlfriend, what had Karlie said? There was no way to ask, so she kept it to herself.

Karlie started kissing Taylor again, running her hands up her sides and then to her chest. Taylor deepened the kiss as she felt a jolt of heat run through her body. Karlie fiddled with the loose straps of Taylor’s dress, finally pulling them down Taylor’s arm. She separated her lips from Taylor’s and started leaving open-mouthed kisses on her upper chest and collarbone. Taylor closed her eyes and exhaled audibly.

In one strong, swift motion Karlie grabbed Taylor and lay her down on the bed, kneeling over her. Taylor’s eyes widened in surprise, but her hands immediately wrapped around Karlie’s neck. Their lips reconnected. Taylor let her hands roam over Karlie’s body again, now that she had more space. She lifted up her shirt and Karlie eagerly helped her take it off. Taylor’s mouth went dry when she saw Karlie leaning over her in a black bra, her abs exposed.

Karlie giggled. “Like what you see?”

Taylor hummed in response, unable to form words.

“This is okay, right?” Karlie asked.

Taylor cleared her throat, wanting to give a clear answer. “Yes.” She was breathing heavily.

“Good. We don’t have to-“

“Karlie!” Taylor interrupted her. She knew she sounded desperate, but all she wanted was to feel Karlie’s lips and hands all over her body again.

“Just- just-“ She didn’t know how to finish her sentence, but Karlie grinned at her and nodded.

The kiss that followed was the most urgent and passionate one they had shared so far. Taylor’s mind was wiped blank. Karlie took off her dress, and the look she gave her when she admired her body was something Taylor wanted to commit to memory forever.

She couldn’t help but let out a moan when Karlie focused on her thighs, leaving open-mouthed kisses here and there.

“Shh.” Karlie hushed and giggled. “We need to be quiet. My sisters are sleeping downstairs.”

Taylor had completely forgotten about them, or about anyone else who wasn’t Karlie, for that matter. She blushed and nodded. Karlie giggled again and kissed her.

For the rest of the night, the sounds of soft giggles, quiet moans and passionate kisses filled the room.

 

***

 

Taylor opened her heavy eyelids in a sleepy daze. She vaguely remembered having a weird dream in which Meredith was barking at her. The first sunrays of the day were shining through the blinds. Her entire body felt sore and heavy and she slowly drifted back to sleep.

Then she heard the barking again. Her eyes snapped open.

She saw Karlie lying next to her, and the memories from the night before came rushing back. She inhaled sharply. She was awake in an instant. She quickly pulled the sheets to the side and got up.

Karlie was waking up as well.

“Stay?”

Her hoarse voice stopped Taylor in her tracks. She turned around.

“I can’t.”

Karlie’s face fell. She looked away from Taylor and got up.

Taylor gathered her things from the floor and put her dress back on. She felt awful. Karlie helped her zip it back up, and Taylor did not miss the longing look in her eyes.

“Did you bring a jacket? It’s chilly in the morning” Karlie whispered.

“Yeah.” Taylor gave her a weak smile.

Karlie grabbed her arm and pulled her close towards her. They looked at each other for a long moment. Karlie’s hair was messy, and her make-up smeared. Taylor knew she herself didn’t look any different. Yet, she found it adorable on Karlie.

Karlie crashed their lips together, keeping a strong hold on Taylor. Taylor reached out to stroke Karlie’s cheek.

She felt awful. She didn’t want to leave. She knew she had to. Karlie’s sisters were there. She didn’t want to have to explain. She did her best to keep in the tears that were threatening their way into her eyes. Her chin quivered.  She didn’t want to be another one of Karlie’s well-kept secrets. She wanted to be all hers.

Yet here she was, leaving. Leaving, because she had to, because Karlie wasn’t ready yet. Leaving like it was a party hook-up, never to be seen again. She shuddered. She wondered if that’s what it was to Karlie. If that’s what it would be like from now on. If they would ever get to spend a lazy Sunday morning in bed together.

She kissed Karlie one last time, then turned to the door.

“I’ll see you, Karlie.”

“Text me when you get home.”

Taylor didn’t look back at Karlie. She felt awful.

She made her way down the stairs and towards the door as quietly as possible. She put on her shoes and grabbed her bag. The front door shut with a quiet thump. Taylor didn’t see Kariann standing in the kitchen, preparing a bowl of dog food, watching her leave.


	21. Twenty One

 

She didn’t text her when she got home. She didn’t text her to ask how the family visit went. She didn’t text her when Karlie asked how she was, if she was okay, what was wrong. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to Karlie. She didn’t sleep well. She didn’t eat well. By the end of the week, she was too worn out to feel anything else than sadness.

“Hey Taylor, wanna get lunch?” Abigail asked when she saw Taylor walking into the office.

“How was the meeting with Emma?”

Taylor gave her friend a weak smile. “The meeting was great. We talked about my next project. She said I will very likely start working on my own true crime show by the end of the month.”

“Awesome! I’m so happy for you!” Abigail’s face lit up. When she saw that Taylor didn’t seem to share her excitement, she furrowed her brows.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing.”

Abigail hummed. “So, what about lunch? I wanted to try the lunch buffet you told me about!” She tried her best to cheer her friend up.

Taylor shrugged. “The one I went to with Karlie? I don’t really wanna go there right now …”

“Oh.” Abigail gave her a strange look. “Did you bring your own lunch?”

Taylor shook her head no. She sat down at her desk and hoped Abigail would just drop the subject. She didn’t feel hungry.

Abigail stood up from her chair and went towards Taylor. They were the only two in the office, everyone else having already left for lunch.

“Taylor. Will you please tell me what’s wrong? You’ve been grumpy and just out of it all week. And don’t tell me you’re on your period.”

Taylor turned around to look at her friend. She gulped.

“Nothing.”

“Taylor …”

Taylor bit her lip.

“Did something happen at Karlie’s birthday party? You never told me how it was.”

Taylor looked at the floor.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Abigail turned around to grab her phone and her purse. She nodded her head towards Taylor. “Grab your stuff. We’re getting Chinese take-out and then we’ll sit outside in the park, enjoy the sun and you’ll tell me why you’ve been a shell of your self for the entire week.”

Taylor wanted to protest, saying she was fine and wasn’t hungry. But she saw the determination in Abigail’s face and knew it was of no use. She sighed and did as she was told.

 

 

***

 

Taylor told Abigail everything. From the time she and Karlie had made out in the laundry room at the party, to Karlie making Taylor see her and not explaining herself, to Karlie reaching out again, to them becoming friends again, to them crossing their boundaries, to the night of Karlie’s party.

Abigail listened attentively, asking questions every now and then. When Taylor finished, she looked at her and winked. “I told ya she liked girls.”

Then she got serious. “I don’t even know what to say. I want to be mad at Karlie because I’m your friend. But honestly? You’re both acting stupid. Oh my God.”

She picked up the last few fried noodles from the take-out box with her chopsticks, then put it aside.

“Please tell me why you left that morning?”

“Because I … because her sisters were there? And I was embarrassed?” Taylor’s voice was high-pitched, and she felt like she had to defend herself.

“Okay” Abigail held up a hand. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to fight with you. I’ll try not to be so passive-aggressive.” She took a deep breath.

Taylor nodded. “I was embarrassed.” Her voice was calmer. She had already finished her food, and now that she was talking to Abigail, she felt better than she had all week. She took a sip from her water bottle.

“I know Karlie already came out to her sisters, but it would have been so awkward. It’s not like she planned me staying overnight before or anything. We just …”

“You were just feeling it. Okay. Alright. I don’t wanna know details” Abigail said and made a grimace.

Taylor couldn’t help but laugh.

“But she wanted you to stay, didn’t she? And she texted you all week?”

Taylor looked at her hands in her lap. “Yeah.” She sighed. “I didn’t reply to her texts at all. I don’t know. I was too embarrassed. It felt like a one-night stand? I don’t know. I feel stupid now.”

Abigail reached out to gently nudge her arm. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re gonna fix it, okay? You’re gonna reach out to her and you’ll fix it.”

Taylor nodded.

“But-“ Abigail raised her chin, “I do have to say, what Karlie did wasn’t okay. I want to know why the two of you thought it would be okay or healthy to cross whatever boundaries you set and then never talk about it? You say you’re friends and you’ll wait til she figures it all out but then you make out every time you see each other and then you fuck!?”

Taylor winced at Abigail’s raised voice and looked around in embarrassment if anyone had overheard. She was relieved to see that the only other person in the park was someone walking their dog, clearly out of ear-shot.

“You need to communicate. You made it work until a certain point and then you just dropped all communication again. Why?”

Taylor shrugged. “I don’t know. I want to say it was always her who initiated it, the kisses and everything, but I could’ve stopped her, I guess. But I was too … too caught up in her.” She sighed.

“I guess I was just impatient. She’s been taking so many steps into new directions lately. With the new content on her channel, coming out to her family … I guess I was just impatient. I want to be with her now.”

The look in Abigail’s eyes softened. “Yeah, I think so too. You said you’d give her as much time as she needs, but then you turn around and act as if you’re already where you want to be.”

There was a moment of silence between them as Taylor thought about it. She put her head in her hands.

Abigail took a sip of her soda. She took a deep breath. “I get it. The two of you support each other, make each other feel confident, lift each other up. And at the same time-“ her voice became angrier again “- at the same time you tear each other apart! You tear each other up emotionally! You just take what you want! Both of you. But especially Karlie. She wants you to be friends and for you to wait, and then she kisses you and fucks you and never says a word about it! As if she’s not hurting both of you. You two work together, for fuck’s sake! How long did you guys think this was going to last? You think you can work with someone who’s also wrecking you emotionally? I don’t think so!”

She exhaled audibly. She rubbed her temples to calm herself. “Okay, rant over. I know I said I wouldn’t get angry. But oh my God I’m still angry.”

Taylor sat there, unmoving. Every single one of her friend’s words had struck her to her core. She hadn’t thought about it like that. But Abigail was right. They were naïve to think this wouldn’t affect their collaborations, if not now, then in the very near future. In a way it already had happened, after they had made out the first time and Karlie had reached out to her through Emma.

Abigail reached out a hand again. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah” Taylor whispered. “I’m just thinking.”

She didn’t know why Karlie was behaving the way she did. Why they never talked about their situation anymore when they had agreed to do so the first time.

“I know what I did wrong now, and I need to apologize for it. I shouldn’t have ignored Karlie all week. I should’ve initiated conversation the minute we crossed our boundaries. But I need Karlie to explain herself.” She sighed again.

“Yeah, I think so too” Abigail said softly. She scooted over to give Taylor a hug.

“I’m gonna talk to her.” Taylor looked up. She felt determined to fix this.

“Good. But-“ Abigail looked at Taylor with a stern expression on her face.

“If she doesn’t talk this time and this mess of a situation continues, you need to drop her.”

 

 


	22. Twenty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (ooh ooh)

 

“Are you insane!?”

Taylor couldn’t believe it. Standing in her doorframe, soaked and shivering, was Karlie. Outside they could hear the thunder storm raging, the rain hitting the sidewalks in heavy drops.

She took a step back and let Karlie in. The younger woman looked like Taylor had felt all week. She was pale and there were dark circles under her eyes.

“You’ll get a cold! Wait I’ll get you something to change!” Taylor exclaimed and moved into action. She ran over to her cabinet and grabbed a sweater, sweatpants and a towel, then handed them to Karlie.

Karlie said nothing, only nodded and took the clothes, then went into the bathroom.

Taylor let out a deep sigh when Karlie closed the door behind her. It was 2 am. After her talk with Abigail, Taylor had spent all day trying to phrase her text to Karlie. It had kept her up late. When she finally texted Karlie, she assumed she was already asleep and would read it the next morning.

However, Karlie had replied immediately, saying she was coming over. _It’s late_ , Taylor had protested. _There’s a thunder storm going on. The subway runs only every half an hour._ \- _No,_ Karlie had insisted _. I need to see you right now. I’m calling a cab._ Taylor hadn’t believed Karlie was actually coming over until she rang her doorbell a minute earlier.

Karlie came out of the bathroom and Taylor cringed when she saw what she had given her to wear. It was a piece of merchandise from the Haim concert they had attended together. _Comical,_ Taylor thought and snort-laughed.

Karlie grinned at her, evidently having noticed too. She still didn’t say anything. She went towards the couch and sat down. Her hair was damp, but she didn’t look cold anymore.

Taylor couldn’t help but feel her heartbeat quicken at the sight of Karlie in her own clothes. She sat down next to her with an adequate amount of space between them, nervously pushing her glasses onto her nose. She felt like she was having deja-vu.

To her surprise, Karlie spoke up first. Her voice was quiet and unsteady, but earnest.

“Kariann saw you leaving on Sunday morning.”

Taylor took in a sharp breath. Karlie continued, telling her how the twins had asked about Taylor and how she had told them everything that had happened between them for the past couple of months.

Taylor couldn’t tear her eyes away from Karlie as she spoke. It felt good to be near her again. Her hard feelings resolved. When Karlie was finished, Taylor cleared her throat.

“I talked to Abigail today.”

Karlie nodded. “It seems like we both finally told people, huh?”

“Yeah.” Taylor was surprised at the calmness of their conversation. She had expected yelling and crying. Maybe it was a good sign.

“I just need to know why, Karlie. You crossed our boundaries first. I was giving you time to figure everything out.”

Karlie sighed. She ran a hand through her damp hair. “I couldn’t … I couldn’t help myself. I felt like you were getting impatient with me, and I didn’t want to lose you. Maybe I was getting impatient with myself, too. God, Taylor, I can’t be around you as just a friend.”

The words lingered between them.

Taylor gulped. Karlie sighed again before she continued. “And I tried to put the blame on you, I really did. Why did you let me kiss you? Why did you stay over after the party? But I’ve done my fair share of thinking this week and I know I was in the wrong too. You should have initiated conversation, but so should I. I think we were both afraid.”

“I think so, too.” Taylor’s voice was quiet. “I asked myself so many times why I didn’t talk to you about it. But then I thought, why isn’t Karlie saying something?” She sighed. “I’m sorry for ignoring you all week, Karlie. That wasn’t fair to you. I was so embarrassed Sunday morning. But I should have talked about my feelings to you, not leave.”

“It’s okay.” Karlie gave Taylor a weak smile. She reached out and touched her arm. Taylor felt her entire body tingling from her touch. Karlie didn’t pull her hand away.

“How was your family’s visit?”

Karlie laughed. “Oh God. So messy.” She made a grimace. “We talked a lot about my coming out, and my sexuality and all that stuff. But then I also told the twins about our situation, obviously, and they said they’d beat my ass if I don’t get my shit together already.” She laughed again.

Taylor couldn’t help but grin. She thought back to the party and to meeting the twins. All she had been thinking about all week was what happened afterwards. It was good to think about it in a positive way again. She remembered the polaroid she and Karlie had taken, now kept well hidden from the eyes of the world between the pages of her journal.

They studied each other’s faces for a long moment.

Abigail’s words were replaying in Taylor’s mind. She was glad that Karlie had talked to her. There was only the question of how they would go from here. Would they be friends or take the next step? Would they still collaborate on Karlie’s channel? How would they act now that more people knew about them?

Taylor realized that now was the time to figure it all out. She gulped and felt her palms become sweaty. She had no idea how to approach this.

Karlie beat her to it. She leaned forward and looked at Taylor intently.

“Taylor … I know we talked a lot right now. But I just … “ She bit her lip.

“Yeah?” Taylor raised an eyebrow. Her heart was beating out of her chest.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Taylor felt a million emotions all at once. This was the question she had been waiting for for weeks, and she couldn’t believe she was hearing it spoken out loud. It was a question she hadn’t dared asked herself, for fear that Karlie wasn’t ready.

When Karlie’s expression changed from hopeful to fearful, Taylor realized she hadn’t given her an answer yet. A smile appeared on her face.

“Yes.”

The answer was that simple. Karlie started smiling too, her wide signature smile that Taylor adored. She exhaled audibly.

Taylor laughed. “I just said yes and you’re just gonna sit there and not kiss me?” she pouted in mock-offense.

“Shut up” Karlie mumbled and got up from the couch. Standing right in front of Taylor, she leaned down and lifted her chin up with her hand. She pressed a firm kiss to Taylor’s lips. When they separated, they were both smiling, eyes glistening.

Karlie lowered herself so that she was on top of Taylor, straddling her. Taylor groaned but kept a steady hold on her. “Can we not pretend that you’re not way too tall to be doing this?” she laughed.

“No” Karlie said and giggled. They kissed again until Taylor couldn’t help but let out a long yawn.

“Karlie, it’s the middle of the night. I’ve been up for like 20 hours.”

Karlie simply looked at her, waiting for her to continue. Taylor traced Karlie’s jawline with her thumb.

“Stay?”

“I’d love to.”

Karlie smiled and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. Taylor smiled too. She looked at Karlie for a long moment.

“Let’s get some sleep. I need it, and you do, too. We can talk more tomorrow if you want.”

Karlie nodded. “Alright.”

Sleep came easily for the two of them.

The thunder outside had subsided, and the rain was hitting the windows in an even rhythm. Feeling Karlie’s strong arms wrapped around her body and her steady breathing on her neck, Taylor knew they had weathered their worst storm.


	23. Twenty Three

 

Taylor woke up from a breeze of fresh air and the smell of coffee in the bedroom. She yawned and opened her eyes. The window was open, and Karlie was balancing two mugs in her hands, placing them on the nightstand.

“Good morning” Karlie greeted her with a wide smile.

“Good morning” Taylor replied, but her voice was hoarse. She cleared her throat.

Karlie laughed and leaned in for a kiss.

“I made coffee.” She climbed back into bed and sat down next to Taylor. She grabbed the mugs and handed one to Taylor.

Taylor inhaled deeply, the strong smell helping her to wake up completely.

“Thank you.”

They drank their coffee in silence, listening to the sounds of the traffic outside the window. It was a Sunday, so it was quieter than on weekdays. The air coming in through the window was still chilly, but it would get hot during the day.

Karlie grabbed the book that was lying on her nightstand and started reading. She was leaning against Taylor, who had her legs draped over hers.

“I gave you that book like a month ago, how are you still not done?” Taylor teased when she saw the placement of the bookmark.

Karlie rolled her eyes. “Not everyone reads a hundred novels a week like you. Besides, I read your _‘Coding for dummies’_ book as well, so …”

Taylor grinned. “I’ll give you twenty bucks if you take it to your first class at college.”

“Absolutely not.” Karlie laughed. “I do have to admit it’s pretty informative, though.”

Taylor had given her the book for her birthday as a joke, but Karlie found it actually helpful. Since the admission to her college classes had come in the mail, she had been reading anything on the topic she could get her hands on, feeling anxious about going back to school.

“What part are you at though?” Taylor asked, trying to get a look at the page Karlie was reading.

“Oh boy.” Karlie laughed again. “I don’t even know what’s happening anymore. They live together in a hotel suite now? I’m starting chapter 13 right now.” She showed the page to Taylor.

Taylor hummed in response and tilted her head. She had given Karlie _‘The other typist’_ to read. She knew Karlie preferred non-fiction over novels, but Karlie had shown an interest in the book when she learned it had inspired Taylor to research historical New York crime cases.

She nervously fiddled with the blanket that was draped over her lap. She may or may not have had an ulterior motive when she lent the book to Karlie. Ever since she had learned she would stay at Blaze, she had had this idea in her head. But then things had happened and there had been no time or way to ask. Sitting on the bed next to Karlie, she figured now would be the time.

She cleared her throat. It suddenly felt dry, and she wished she had a glass of water. However, she was reluctant to get up and possibly ruin the opportunity. Karlie noticed her shifting and fiddling and gave her a weird look.

“Everything okay?”

Taylor bit her lip and nodded. She didn’t miss the anxious look in Karlie’s eyes. It had only been one week since they had sorted everything out. She hoped Karlie didn’t think she was changing her mind about their relationship.

Karlie closed the book and put it in her lap. She looked at Taylor with a raised eyebrow.

“Is something wrong?”

“No!” Taylor said hastily.

She reached out and caressed the back of Karlie’s neck. She felt Karlie shiver at the touch of her fingertips.

“I just wanted to ask you something … about our work …”

Karlie tilted her head a little. “Yeah?”

“So I’ll start my own series next month … and I hosted my previous true crime show alone and it was fun but … I thought it would be much more fun to have someone to host it with me … do you want to host the series with me? Like, permanently?” She exhaled deeply.

Karlie’s face lit up. “Oh my God, Taylor! I thought you were gonna suggest we never collaborate again or something because we’re together now. Of course! I’d love to!”

Taylor sighed in relief. “Really?”

“Yes, really!” Karlie laughed. “We work well together, don’t you think? Everyone else thinks so, too.” She gave Taylor a wink.

Taylor laughed too. “I guess.”

“You guess? No, we do. You know that too!” Karlie grinned and held up her hand for a high-five.

Taylor gave it, then giggled. “You’re such a nerd.”

Karlie only grinned wider. Taylor leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. “It’s cute though, I guess.”

Karlie pouted. “You guess!?”

Taylor laughed, then kissed her again. They separated after a while and looked at each other, smiling.

“Let’s announce our collaboration!” Karlie said and grinned.

Taylor narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

Her hand was gently caressing Karlie’s cheek, and she was sitting half atop her lap.

“I’m gonna tweet about it!”

Taylor rolled her eyes. “I think we should talk to Todrick first, he has to approve. I have his approval for a first season of ten episodes, but I only talked to Emma about possibly collaborating with you and-“

“Oh, please!” Karlie interrupted her and laughed. She made a dismissing hand gesture. “Todrick can’t say no to working with me!”

“Oh, getting a little stuck-up right now, are we?” Taylor shoved Karlie playfully and laughed too. She knew Karlie was being dramatic, but she also knew she was right. Todrick would never say no to working with Karlie. If Karlie walked into the Blaze office building on Monday and demanded to be the editor in chief, he would give her that job, too.

Karlie only winked at Taylor, then grabbed her phone to write a tweet. Taylor’s heart started beating faster. They were really doing this. She felt nervous, but more than that she felt excited. She was happy to see this side of Karlie again, self-confident and care-free. Knowing she had been part of the reason for Karlie’s anxiety and lack of creativity for the past few weeks, it took a weight off her shoulders.

“Alright, how do you like this?” Karlie grinned and showed her phone to Taylor.

_Excited to announce I will be collaborating with @taylorswift13 on an upcoming series that she’s producing. Stay tuned._

“Sure!”

“Okay, all sent!” Karlie’s grin seemed to only be getting wider.

Taylor couldn’t help but lean in and kiss her again. She reached for her own phone to like the tweet, then got up.

“I’m gonna get more coffee and look for food.”

“Oh boy, good luck.”

Taylor decided not to ask what Karlie meant by that. She went downstairs. Joe the dog was lying on his bed by the window, but he got up when he saw Taylor, excitedly wagging his tail.

“Good morning, Joe Joe!” Taylor cooed and went into the kitchen to feed him first. She briefly wondered when she had become a dog person.

She soon saw what Karlie had meant by ‘good luck’. It appeared that she had not gone grocery shopping the previous week. Taylor found some fruit and cut them into a fruit salad, then made coffee. When she turned to go upstairs again, her eyes fell onto the photos on the wall next to the mixer.

 _So that’s where that polaroid went,_ she thought and smiled to herself. She was sure it hadn’t been there at the time of Karlie’s birthday yet. She must’ve put it up sometime during the last week. Next to it was a picture of Karlie and her sisters, one with a friend Taylor had only briefly talked to at the party, and then one of Karlie, Cara, Derek and Taylor at the concert. She smiled and felt butterflies in her stomach.

When she re-entered the master bedroom with Joe in tow, Karlie was on the phone.

“Yes, I’ll come by the office tomorrow, yes, I know. See ya!”

Karlie grinned at Taylor. “That was Todrick. He saw the tweet. He was only a little mad that I didn’t talk to him before announcing it to five and a half million people, but hey. He’s excited!”

“I told you we should talk to him first.”

“I told you he wouldn’t say no.”

Taylor only rolled her eyes and placed the French press on the night stand and the bowl of fruit salad next to it.

“Hey, I had no idea I had anything left in my fridge” Karlie said and laughed.

Joe jumped onto the bed and barked, and Karlie petted him.

“Good morning, Joe Joe! How did you sleep?”

Taylor wanted to make a snarky comment but realized she talked to her cats the same way. Besides, she had greeted the dog in the same way just ten minutes earlier as well.

She got comfortable next to Karlie again, who was scrolling through her phone, laughing at the reactions of her followers. Taylor took her own phone again and started looking too. She retweeted Karlie’s post and wrote a comment of her own.

After a while, Karlie looked at Taylor with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey, what does _#kaylor_ mean?”


	24. Twenty Four

 

“Oh, so that’s where my headphones went! I was about to buy new ones!” Abigail was holding them up triumphantly and grinned at Taylor over her desk.

“And I found a candy bar too. Awesome.”

Taylor made a grimace. “You’re gross.”

The two of them were cleaning out their desks. It was their last day as interns. From Monday on, Taylor would be at a different office, employed as a junior producer. Abigail would start her new job. There was a hint of sadness lingering in the atmosphere, but the two friends distracted themselves by joking around with each other.

Taylor had neatly packed her belongings into two bags, just waiting for Todrick to arrive and show her the new office. She was watching Abigail desperately trying to get a hold of the mess she had created within the last six months.

“How am I supposed to get all of this home? I only have one backpack” Abigail whined.

“Since when did I have two mugs here? Oh my God.”

Taylor laughed. “I can take some of your stuff and give it to you next time.”

Abigail fiddled with her nose-piercing. It had become a habit, Taylor noticed. She was still getting used to seeing her friend with it.

“Yeah, that would be great” Abigail smiled. The two had promised to keep in touch, no matter how busy life would get from now on. Abigail’s new office was nowhere close to the Blaze office, but they would make it work.

The door opened and Todrick walked in, followed by Selena.

“Hey guys!” He greeted them cheerfully.

“How’s it going?”

Selena looked around the room, then laughed. “One of them seems to be having a harder time getting organized than the other. I’m glad we’re keeping the more organized one.”

Taylor laughed, and Selena gave her a high five. Abigail tried to protest but was drowned out by the others’ laughter. Defeated, she tried to push a stack of notes into her backpack.

“I’ll show you your new office later, alright, Taylor? It’s on another floor” Todrick said and sat down on a chair.

Taylor nodded and smiled at him. She was still a little intimidated in his presence, but she was starting to feel more comfortable. She would have to be now that she would work with him a lot more.

“I had a meeting with Karlie and her manager at the beginning of the week” Todrick continued and looked at Taylor.

“We talked about your upcoming series. I’m very happy she’s getting more involved here at Blaze again. I’m sure you two make a great team.”

Taylor simply nodded and smiled. Abigail winked at her from behind her desk.

“I was excited to hear about a lot of new ideas from her for her own channel, too. She said she wants to explore more topics of science and technology. You two have a visit to the planetarium at Central Park planned?”

“Yeah” Taylor nodded. She wished she could wipe the smug grin off Abigail’s face, but was just glad her friend wasn’t in Todrick’s line of sight.

Selena stood in the room, observing the conversation. “Yeah, I really enjoyed the project you worked on with her, Todrick. She’s going in a new direction, which I think is awesome.” She smiled.

Taylor simply nodded along. There wasn’t really a way for her to say that she already knew about everything Karlie, Todrick and Lily had talked about because she had gone to dinner with Karlie that evening.

Neither Taylor nor Karlie were in a rush to tell anyone except their close friends and family about their relationship. Karlie was still getting used to being out to her family at all. They would act as friends when filming, but neither of them minded. The most important people knew, and they would do anything to protect what they had struggled for so long to find.

“You and Karlie will make a good team, I’m sure” Selena added towards Taylor.

Taylor felt her ears turn red. “Thank you.”

Abigail grinned at her widely, and it took everything in her to not flat out tell her to shut up. She knew Todrick and Selena were just being nice, but they didn’t know the whole story. It made her feel shy.

The door opened again and Emma peaked in.

“Hey guys, are you coming?”

“Coming where?” Abigail and Taylor asked simultaneously. They gave each other a confused look, causing the others to laugh.

“Let’s head to the lounge room and find out!” Todrick stood up and grinned at them.

Selena waved them to follow them. “I heard there’s cake …” She winked.

Abigail dashed towards the door. “Yes, cake!”

Taylor’s eyes went wide. “Oh no …” She slowly set in motion, following the others. She had a feeling about what was happening.

Emma patted her shoulder and laughed.

“Surprise party time!”

 

***

 

When Taylor opened the door to her apartment, she was greeted by a loud meow.

“Hey Dibbles” she cooed.

Karlie laughed. “Aww, she missed you.”

Taylor picked the white cat up, and Karlie petted her. They walked into the room and sat down on the couch.

“Oh God, sorry I just realized I’m getting cat hair all over your jacket” Taylor laughed. She put Olivia down and the cat immediately jumped off the couch and ran into the next room, presumably to where Meredith was. The gray cat hadn’t bothered to acknowledge the presence of her human.

Karlie reached out to touch the hem of her jacket that Taylor was wearing. “It’s okay. You look cute in it.”

The surprise party had been a success. Taylor had not believed her eyes when she had seen Karlie there. What had started as a small get-together of coffee and cake had lasted longer than anyone had planned, keeping everyone at the office until after 9pm. Especially Abigail had been reluctant to leave at all.

Taylor smiled at Karlie. “Thanks, I might keep it.” She stuck out her tongue.

“Absolutely not!” Karlie giggled and scooted closer to her. Her hands found their way onto Taylor’s waist. She pulled her closer.

Taylor hummed in response and grinned back at her. She studied Karlie’s face. She gently caressed the back of her neck and played with her hair.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all night” she whispered before she leaned in for a kiss. The kiss was slow, but passionate.

“Yeah me too” Karlie mumbled between kisses.

Acting as friends around their colleagues was harder than they had imagined.

Karlie’s hands wandered under Taylor’s shirt, lifting it up ever so slightly. Taylor shivered at the contact. The kisses became more urgent, but neither of them was in a rush.

“Do you think the others noticed?” Karlie asked after a while. She placed another light kiss on Taylor’s lips, then looked at her expectantly.

Taylor didn’t have to ask what she meant. “Maybe? I don’t know. I think I caught Emma looking from you to me and smiling to herself. I don’t know.” She shrugged.

“It’s not important.” Taylor gently ran her thumb along Karlie’s jawline. “They can think what they want. We don’t owe them an explanation.”

Karlie hummed in response. Her fingers were tracing patterns along Taylor’s side. “I saw the photos Todrick posted of the party when we were on the subway earlier.” She bit her lip. “Lots of comments about … you know … us … lots of _#kaylor_ ” she laughed. “Maybe we shouldn’t have stood next to each other in the photo, or ask him to post a diff-“

“No.” Taylor interrupted what was about to be one of Karlie’s anxious rambles.

“It’s all good. We’re good.” She looked into Karlie’s eyes.

“Don’t worry so much.” She kissed Karlie. “These people can see that we are good together. They can think we’re friends. They can think we’re more than that. They can say that they love our videos.” She kissed her again. “But they’ll never know the whole story. They’ll never know what we went through to get to the here and now. They’ll never know unless we tell them. And we don’t have to tell them.” She exhaled audibly.

Karlie was holding onto Taylor with a strong grip. She sighed. “Yeah. You’re right. I’m just still anxious.”

“It’s okay.” Taylor placed a soft kiss on her lips. “You are allowed to feel anxious. Just don’t let it get in the way of what we have.”

Karlie nodded, then kissed her more urgently. Taylor let herself get lost in the sensation. It felt good to kiss Karlie. It felt good to talk to her about anything that was on their minds. It felt good to be around her in this way.

“I’m tired. Can we change into something more comfortable?” Taylor asked after a while. She yawned. “You’re staying over, right?”

Karlie grinned and nodded. “If you let me.”

“No, I’m kicking you out. I value my alone time.” Taylor rolled her eyes and went over to the cabinet to get something for Karlie to change into.

When she rummaged through the drawer, she held up a red shirt in disbelief. “Karlie, what’s this St Louis Cardinals shirt doing in my drawer?”

“Oh my God!” Karlie yelped. “I’ve been looking for that!”

They looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

They changed into their pajamas, and Taylor put her glasses on. Karlie had seen her wear them a million times by now, but that didn’t stop the younger woman from commenting on them every single time.

“I just think it’s adorable” she said and kissed Taylor.

Taylor huffed, but she couldn’t keep Karlie away for too long. They were lying on her bed, cuddling and kissing. Even though she had felt tired earlier, Taylor didn’t feel like going to sleep yet. Her night with Karlie was too good, too peaceful to cut it short by just one second.

Looking around the room, Karlie’s gaze fell on Taylor’s guitar standing in the corner. Taylor followed her gaze, then breathed in sharply.

“No. Don’t even think about it.”

“Please, Taylor?” Karlie pouted. “We just talked about your music at the party as well.” She reached out to touch her cheek. “You promised to play a song for me someday. Why not now?”

Taylor felt her pulse quicken. “It’s … it’s embarrassing.”

“Please don’t feel embarrassed.” Karlie’s gaze softened. “I know I’ll love it.”

_But what if the song is about you?_

“Please?”

Taylor ran a hand through her hair and sighed. She looked at Karlie. “Okay.”

She got up and got the guitar, then sat down on the bed again with her legs crossed and started tuning. Karlie looked at her with expectation in her eyes.

Taylor cleared her throat before she started playing.

“This one’s for you.”


	25. Twenty Five

 

The small film studio was bustling with people coming and going, carrying things from here to there and talking over each other.

“Are you okay?” Karlie quietly asked Taylor, who stood there watching everyone. She reached out and gently squeezed her arm.

Taylor shivered at the contact and quickly looked around if anyone had seen it. She exhaled. “Yeah, I just feel lost.”

Karlie giggled good-naturedly. “I know what you mean. It feels like everyone is working for you but you have no idea what to do with yourself.”

She looked at Taylor intently. “You’ll do great. It’s no different from any previous videos.” She tilted her head. “Okay, well, maybe a little.”

Taylor snort-laughed. “It’s a lot different. This is my own series. We’re hosting together. Oh God.” She put her head in her hands.

“Exactly. We’re working together. You know it’s gonna be good.” Karlie reassured her and winked.

Taylor giggled, finally lightening up. She took a deep breath. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s see what we can do to help.”

“Karlie! Taylor!” Before they could move, they were interrupted by someone calling out to them. They turned around to see that Lily had arrived. Karlie’s manager was carrying a file that had paper almost spilling out of it.

“Good morning, Lily” Karlie greeted and hugged her, and Taylor did the same.

“How’s it going?” Lily asked and smiled at them.

“We’re gonna start filming in about half an hour” Taylor said and smiled back. She realized she had no idea if Lily knew about her and Karlie. She made a mental note to ask Karlie at the end of the day.

“Excuse me” a shy voice interrupted them. They turned around and Taylor recognized the intern she had worked with before. She smiled at her.

“If you’d like, there’s coffee and snacks on the table over there” the girl said towards Lily and pointed across the room.

“And if you need anything, please ask me.” She had only briefly looked at Taylor but avoided looking at Karlie completely. It was evident that she was nervous being around her and too shy to say hello.

“Thank you” Lily smiled at the girl. “Actually, I do need your help. I need to make copies of some of my paperwork. Can you show me the copy room?”

“Of course!” The girl’s face lit up and she gestured Lily to follow her. “It’s on the second floor.” Lily waved Taylor and Karlie goodbye, and they went away.

“It’s so cute how nervous she gets around people” Taylor said and smiled.

“Who is she? Is she an intern?” Karlie asked and tilted her head.

“Yeah, we’ve met before on set for a different video a while ago, and she said she loved my videos. We’ve been in another video together since then as well, and now she’s assigned to my project.” She smiled. “She helped me go shopping for props for the set. She loves your channel too. Basically, all we talked about was how cool you are.” She winked at Karlie.

“Aww” Karlie cooed. “That’s adorable. Can’t wait to talk to her later!”

Taylor laughed. “Just please don’t let her pass out, okay? I kinda need her on set.”

Karlie rolled her eyes in response. “Maybe we should move now instead of just standing in everyone’s way.”

They walked across the room and got their notes out, reading over their lines for the video. Taylor felt nervous again, but at the same time Karlie’s presence calmed her. She could tell that the taller woman was nervous as well but had more professional experience to hide it.

Before they knew it, it was time for the cameras to start rolling. Selena made sure everyone was at their assigned spot and that the set looked flawless. Taylor and Karlie were sitting behind a wooden desk, the same one they had used for Taylor’s previous series as well. Behind them was a bookshelf and an old map of New York City, and on the table Taylor’s old globe as well as pens, scattered notes, a magnifier and other various items.

“And, action!” Selena yelled and gave them a thumbs up.

“Welcome to _Unsolved_ , my new show in which I will introduce you to historical true crime cases of New York City.” Taylor started and smiled at the camera.

“Sitting next to me is someone you may have heard of. She was kind enough to agree to hosting with me.” She made a gesture towards Karlie and grinned.

“Hi! I’m Karlie!” Karlie waved towards the camera and smiled her wide signature smile.

Taylor looked over to her and forgot to speak for a moment. She was too caught up in the blonde’s smile and genuine excitement.

“Taylor, we’re all excited to have Karlie here but please remember your line!” Selena shouted from behind the camera and giggled.

Taylor turned around and blushed. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see Lily grinning as well. _It’s been two minutes and I’m already making a fool out of myself,_ she thought. _Fantastic._

Karlie gently nudged her arm. “Don’t worry. Just keep going. We can edit everything out” she whispered.

Taylor nodded and focused on the camera again.

“Even though you making heart eyes at me is very flattering, I’d prefer if you did that off camera” Karlie added and winked.

Taylor lost all her focus again and put her head in her hands. The others behind the camera started giggling.

“At least we’re all having fun” Selena remarked and sighed dramatically.

“I’m so sorry” Taylor said to the camera team and laughed. “I’m gonna focus now.” 

She took a deep breath and started over. Taylor felt all of her anxiousness fall off of her and just enjoyed the process of filming.

“So, what case are we presenting today?”

“Our first case will be the mysterious disappearance of Dorothy Arnold” Taylor explained and shuffled her notes in her hands.

“This case is over a hundred years old, and it is one that fascinated the population for decades after it happened. On December 12, 1910, the New York socialite and young woman Dorothy Arnold vanished without a trace when running errands near Madison Square Park.” Taylor read from her notes, then took a sip of coffee.

She hadn’t planned on it, but somehow her Blaze rainbow logo mug had ended up on set, the one that Emma had given her as a present at the start of her internship. Next to her Karlie was drinking out of a mug that had the logo of her _Klossy_ channel on it, a hand-drawn heart. Taylor wasn’t sure if Karlie had brought it on purpose or if Todrick had kept it in his office the entire time.

Karlie raised an eyebrow and looked at Taylor. “So, what do we know about her disappearance? Did she get abducted? Or did she disappear voluntarily?”

“That’s the question nobody knows the answer to. There have been numerous theories as to what happened. Why don’t we look at her circumstances first?”

Karlie nodded. “Alright. So who was this young woman?”

“Dorothy was born in 1886 to a wealthy family living on the Upper East Side. She was the niece of a Supreme Court Justice, and her father had a business that imported fancy goods, such as perfumes, from London. She studied literature and graduated college in 1905.”

Taylor took another sip of coffee, then looked at the camera. She was now fully focused. She read from her notes, but she had memorized most of the facts from the case, having researched it thoroughly.

“What does a young woman of her social standing do with her time? I’m assuming she was involved in activities such as dancing and fashion? Was she married?” Karlie asked.

“Well, she was indeed quite well-known in her social circle. She was not married, but we’ll get to that later. Dorothy wanted to become a writer. She sent in short stories to magazines unsuccessfully, and her family teased her about it. They didn’t understand her motivation behind it and why she couldn’t just settle down, she didn’t have to work.”

Taylor shook her head. “She wanted to move out, but her father didn’t allow it. She even rented a PO box for her rejection letters so that her family wouldn’t notice them.”

She sighed. “I don’t want to give anything away, but a lot of people think that this is why she disappeared. She felt stuck in her life and was frustrated that her writing didn’t get any recognition. I can completely relate to that. I’ve been in her situation. When you put your heart into something and then nobody cares about it, it hurts.”

Taylor quickly looked down at her notes. She hadn’t meant for this to become personal. She suddenly realized why the case had resonated with her so much. She cleared her throat. Next to her she felt Karlie shifting in her chair.

“Anyways. Let’s examine the day of her disappearance.”

“Are there any details to what she did that day?” Karlie asked.

“Yes, actually, it was described in detail in the newspapers at the time.” Taylor leaned forward. “She went to run some errands. She wanted to look for an evening dress to buy for an upcoming ball, and also went to buy a box of chocolates and a novel. On her way she also ran into an old friend. It is said that she liked walking everywhere, something very uncommon for women of her status at the time.”

“And she disappeared while walking alone?”

“Exactly. After chatting with her friend, she was walking up 5th Avenue and planned on walking home through Central Park. However, she never came home. Her family noticed at the dinner table.”

Taylor took another sip of coffee, then continued. “That day, she was said to have been wearing a blue tailor-made coat and a black hat. She was 5’4, had brown hair and blue-grayish eyes. This description was all over the newspapers.”

Taylor had prepared scans of images of Dorothy from newspaper articles at the time for the editing team to include in the visuals later, and she assumed they would be shown at this point in the video.

“Her family must’ve been frantic. I assume they called the police immediately?”

Taylor shook her head and looked at Karlie, who raised her eyebrows. “They didn’t?”

“No. Her family didn’t call the police for six weeks. That night they called Dorothy’s friends to ask about her, but nobody knew. Later, they even called them again and told them not to tell the police they had called that night. When a friend of Dorothy’s called to ask about her, her mother told the friend she had returned home and was in bed sleeping.”

Karlie tilted her head. “That sounds super fishy.”

Taylor laughed. “Yep.”

“Cut!” Selena yelled from behind the camera. Taylor startled. She had completely forgotten about everyone else in the room.

“Sorry to interrupt” Selena said and made a grimace. “But Taylor, can you reiterate the last part? It’s a bit of a confusing situation you’re talking about, so I want to make sure the viewers understand it properly.”

Taylor nodded. “Sure.”

They started over, then took a small break. Everyone congratulated them on how well things were going. Taylor smiled at everyone, but all she wanted was to get back in front of the camera to tell the story. She had loved to present cases by herself in her previous videos, but this was something different entirely. She took a personal interest in the cases, and she had Karlie with her. She felt like besides her song-writing, this was the creative outlet she had been looking for.

“Alright, so what happened then? Dorothy’s family just pretended that everything was fine?” Karlie asked when they resumed filming.

“No, they did their own research” Taylor said and started explaining how the family hadn’t gone public due to their social standing and their fear of the press. They had hired a renowned private detective agency – but they found nothing. Except for ashes in the fireplace that suggested Dorothy had burned her stories.

Karlie took a deep breath. “Wow. This is starting to look like she ran away.”

“Yeah. In a letter she wrote a little before her disappearance she even wrote ‘All I can see ahead is a long road with no turning’.”

“Wow. So what happened when her family contacted the police?”

Taylor nodded and turned the page of her notes. “The case was front page. Over the following days, weeks and even years there were a lot of rumors and false claims. Her body was in a reservoir in Central Park. She was in a mental hospital. She lived in Hollywood under a different name. She was murdered. She died at an abortion clinic in Pennsylvania.”

Karlie exhaled. “That’s a lot. I can kinda understand why her family didn’t want to go public with the case now.”

“Exactly. This went on for years. Her father examined every single hint he received. But none of them led to anything. There was a man named George who was said to be in a relationship with her at the time but was in Europe, in Florence to be exact, at the time of her disappearance. He became a suspect and Dorothy’s family even travelled to Florence to interrogate him, but he said he knew nothing. In fact, upon his return to the US he even said he intended to marry Dorothy. However, Dorothy’s family had always resented him because he was below her social status.”

“Is there a chance she ran away to be with him?” Karlie asked.

“Yeah, that’s a theory as well. We can see that Dorothy’s family disapproved of many things in her life. Her career, her relationship. Given the fact that there was never a body and no evidence of suicide or murder, it’s very likely she disappeared voluntarily.”

“So what happened to her case?”

Taylor nodded. “She was presumed dead in February of 1911, even though the case was cracked open multiple times in the following decades, every time after another false claim made the rounds. Her parents did not include Dorothy in their wills after their deaths for fear of imposters, even.”

She looked at the camera. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw everyone listening attentively. The camera guys were focused on their equipment, and Selena was sitting still, watching her and Karlie intently.

Taylor cleared her throat. “The last time the case was mentioned in a major newspaper was in 1950, forty years after Dorothy’s disappearance! The New York Times listed the case as ‘open’.” She bit her lip and looked at her notes again. “So, the case was in the press for decades, but there was never any closure.”

Karlie took a sip of her coffee, then turned towards Taylor. “Can you give me at least a little bit of hope that Dorothy indeed disappeared out of her own volition and lived happily ever after?”

Taylor grinned at Karlie. They had practiced this line the day before. It had been Karlie’s idea to end the story on a positive note. She always needed her stories to have happy endings. Taylor did, too.

“Yes, actually. About three years after her disappearance, in 1914, there were reports that Dorothy’s personal bible had been found on a woman who was arrested in Texas, who in turn claimed she had stolen it from someone in Mexico.”

“Woah.”

Taylor laughed. “I know.”

“But this gives me hope that Dorothy did indeed successfully start her life over, free from the restraints of the society she was born into and the pressure put onto her.” Karlie smiled at Taylor.

Taylor smiled back at her. In part because she, too, wanted to believe that the young woman had taken her life into her own hands. And in part because she was relieved to have made it to the end of the video without any further embarrassments.

Karlie gave her a little nod, and Taylor turned back towards the camera.

“This wraps up our first case. What do you think happened? Let us know in the comments!”

 “We hope you enjoyed the video, stay tuned for more episodes to follow!”

“And as always: this case remains

… unsolved.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story.
> 
> Characters & Disclaimer:
> 
> This story is a work of fiction. The words, thoughts and actions of characters based on real-life people in this story are purely fictional and are not meant to imply any real-life resemblance. The other characters are original characters, any resemblance towards real-life people is purely coincidental and unintentional. Places, businesses, incidents and events are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.
> 
> Characters based on real persons:
> 
> Taylor Swift, Karlie Kloss, Kimby Kloss, Kariann Kloss, Emma Stone, Lily Aldridge, Selena Gomez, Todrick Hall, Abigail Anderson, Cara Delevingne, Derek Blasberg.
> 
> Sources/ References:
> 
> • The Disappearance of Dorothy Arnold – podcast episode #205 The Bowery Boys: New York City History (www.boweryboyshistory.com).  
> • Suzanne Rindell – The other typist, published by Penguin Books, 2013.


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